Tears for the Broken
by LiveInTheMusic
Summary: When Peeta finally returns to District 12, Katniss has to learn how to love and trust him again, while Peeta has to learn control. Through the ups and the downs, their love will grow stronger then ever. A realistic story that explains what happens after Peeta returns, but before "Real." and the Epilogue. The story is a lot better then the Summary makes it seem. :
1. First Step to Forever

**_A/N:_**_ Hey to anyone who might be reading! Im LiveInTheMusic, and this is my very first story. I dont know how long itll be, but im thinking itll be a few chapters. This story is set after the end of Mockingjay, but before the E__pilogue. I spent alot of time thinking about this chapter, but i like what i have written. Please please PLEASE review! Like i said, this is my first story. All comments are welcome, negative and possative. Haters are gonna be loved too. Well not really. But you know. Gotta see the glass half full. ANYWAYS. Heres the 1st chapter to the story, Tears for the Broken._

I curled up tightly on my couch. I couldn't get myself to go to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw her. I've been like this ever since Peeta left. He came over at the same time he does every night, carrying a loaf of bread. Usually, I'm still out hunting when he comes over. But today, I went out earlier than usual.

I know what tomorrow is. I couldn't handle being out there for too long. Too many memories haunted me, even a day before the horrible event makes its annual appearance.

When Peeta came over, I was the one who opened the door. I felt my heart crumble when I saw him standing there. He looked almost exactly like he did years ago, before Snow took away our happiness. His blond hair fell into his shockingly blue eyes, his hands holding the bread out slightly, a small smile sneaking onto his lips. But just as quickly as it came, it vanished. We just stood there in the door way, staring. Earlier today, when Greasy Sae came over, she had made me take a shower and clean myself up. My hair was in my tight signature braid down my back. I had my good pair of jeans on, and a plain green tee. I knew that Peeta saw what I saw in him in me, because his eyes shown exactly what I was feeling:  
>Pain. Hurt. Loss. Longing.<p>

He stayed like he always did until dark, drawing the pictures of the people we knew who died into my book. We didn't speak unless we absolutely had too. He was still drawing out Nuts and Volts when I began writing about her without realizing it. I knew that eventually I would have to summon up the memories, but I couldn't help but wish I wouldn't ever have to. I finally realized what I was writing. I hesitated, but knew I had to continue. It brought me to tears remembering the haunted times, but I whipped the pain away quickly before Peeta could notice.

When he finally saw what I wanted him to draw, he froze. I couldn't stop the tears that were quickly streaming down my cheeks. He knew what tomorrow was, too. He would never forget. But that's exactly why I had to do it. I had to finally work through all this pain and suffering. I had to bring up the memories I wanted so badly to forget. Even if I didn't, she would still make a re-appearance in my dreams.

Peeta looked up at me with sad, teary eyes. I avoided his gaze, and then kept writing. I didn't want to miss one little thing about her. I knew it was impossible to, but that didn't matter. She will be appreciated for all she has done.

I wrote about her name and how she loved the flower she was named after. I wrote about her smile, that smile that could bring me happiness even on the worst of days. I wrote about her personality. She cared for even the smallest of creatures. She wouldn't even hurt a fly. I wrote about the sparkle in her eyes that was almost always present, the button nose, her blond hair, the curve of her jaw line, how at such a young age she was so mature. I wrote about how I missed her, how she will always be missed by everyone she knew. I didn't stop until I wrote the last words. I didn't even stop when the tears came out in a never ending stream, winces escaping my lips. Peeta even tried to get me to stop, but I refused. If I stopped, I wouldn't be able to finish. I dug my nails into my left hand, writing the last things about her with my right. I felt my heart break for the millionth as I wrote the rest.

_I love you, Prim. Forever you will be missed. Rest In Peace, Little Duck._

I dropped the pen, my hands shaking violently. The sobs came almost instantly, the quiet screams hurting my strained voice. I closed my eyes tightly, wishing the images would just stop. I could see everything that had happened in the past few years repeat itself.

Images of Prim giggling as I tickled her.

Hunting in the woods with Gale.

Prim's name being called at the reaping.

Prim looking so mature after I came back from the first games.

Madge giving me the pin that I would wear in not one, but two Hunger Games.

Finnick dying right in front of my eyes.

Prim dying.

Peetas hands closing around my throat.

Rue dying in my arms.

Kissing Peeta for the first time.

Prim dying.

Peetas fathers warm smile as I traded with him.

My mother's lifeless eyes after Prim died.

Gale leaving me.

Prim dying.

Haymitch hugging me tightly.

Cinna dying.

Effies pink hair.

Coin dying because of my arrow.

Gale smiling.

Prim dying.

Peeta holding me close.

The mutts from the first game.

Peeta laughing.

Gale kissing me.

Peeta smiling.

Watching the bombing of District 12 on that stupid TV in 13.

Peeta giving me his locket.

Joannah smirking.

Prim dying.

Peeta giving me the pearl.

Peeta kissing me.

Peeta smiling in the cave, his eyes shining bright.

Peeta comforting me.

Peeta kissing me on the back of my neck.

Prim dying.

I heard a blood curdling scream. I cover my ears, just to realize I was the one who made it. I felt Peeta take me into a hug. I felt my whole body shake with fear, with shock. This was the first time since he got back from 13, that he actually held me. That he actually touched me without retreating quickly.

I felt his lips press to the top of my head, whispering my name gently. The tears rolled quickly down my cheeks, my sobs muffled by Peetas' shoulder.

He gently clutched my hair, moving his head to my shoulder. "Oh Katniss.. I'm so sorry.. I'm so so sorry." he whispered, his voice cracking. I felt my chest tighten when he said my name. I rapped my arms tightly around his neck. We just sat there, holding each other and crying over the loss of everyone we knew.

He left shortly after. He almost had another episode. And I almost forgot what it felt like to be seen in his eyes as a mutt.

Once I let go from hugging him, his eye brows furrowed in confusion, but his eyes were a stormy blue. "My family's dead." he said, more like a statement then a question. "I'm sorry..." I checked out, tears starting to build in my eyes again. "It was of your doing," he began, his eyes closing tightly. "Real or not real?" I felt my eyes widen, my heart race faster.

I didn't know how to answer him. It was partly my fault, but then again, it wasn't. "Uh.. Urm.." "Real or not real?" he asked louder, his eyes flashing open, anger and fury making them a dark grey, and he glared at me. "Both!" I yelled, glaring back at him. I knew instantly that my response shocked him, because his eyes turned back into the blue color I couldn't help but love. "Both.." I state, a lot quieter, dropping my gaze to my shaking hands. I didn't wait for him to say anything before I continued speaking. "If it wasn't for me in the first games, they wouldn't be dead right now. If I didn't pull out those berries, we wouldn't be here right now. The rebellion would've still went on, but we wouldn't be the ones involved. You could've came back here as a single Victor and lived your life out. With your family. You wouldn't have been hijacked," I paused, stealing a quick glance at Peeta. The crazy look he had before was gone; his hands were close to mine, looking like they wanted to comfort me. He looked like he was about to cry, the pain in his eyes was unbearable. I looked at my hands and continued talking. "If it weren't for me, millions of people would be alive. But because of me, there all dead. Look at this book, Peeta. It's filled with people who died because of me." I stopped talking to whip away the tears on my cheeks. Peeta had a tear rolling down his cheek, too. But it didn't stop me from saying the truth about what should've happened, and I looked directly into those piercing blue eyes when I said, "I never should've made it out of that arena alive. You should have won. Alone. I should be dead right now." Peeta closed his eyes tightly, a wince escaping his lips. There were tears quickly rolling down his cheeks, and he opened his eyes and looked at me. He mumbled, "That's nothing but lies." then got up and left, slamming the door before I could say anything else. No explanation. No 'I missed you.' Nothing. He didn't come back to get his colored pencils, or his charcoal, either.

So here I am, confused, hurt, and dying inside. And I can't help but feel that the only thing I have to hold onto is the pencils. Yet, there was still a spark before Peeta left. When he hugged me close, I felt the old Peeta. The one who used to smile when he saw me, not have to grip onto something to ward off the memories the Capitol messed with. The one who's lips where way to familiar to me. I knew, right from that moment, that the boy with the bread was coming home, back to me where he belongs.

A/N: Hope you liked! REVIEW!(:


	2. Never Let Me Go

_A/N: Thank you guys so much for reviewing! It made my week! You guys are all just awesome.(: So dont stop reviewing. It lets me know if Im doing okay or not._

_So sorry I didnt update sooner. I have to go to this horrible thing called school. And trust me, I know how it feels to have to wait for a new chapter. One word: ANNOYING! So without any more blabbing, here is Chapter 2..._

2.  
>As soon as my head hit the pillow that night, I fell asleep. A deep, deep sleep that I needed and wanted.<br>Until the nightmare.

I was running. My leg was brutally burnt. My backpack hit my shoulder-blades in unison with my braid. The quiver strapped tightly around my body, the bow in my bloody hands. The unwilling look in my eyes that was un-deniable. I knew instantly where I was.

The Hunger Games.

My first. The worst, yet best thing that ever happened to me.  
>I didn't know why I was running in my dream, but I was. I knew about the time it was in the Games, though. It was after Rue died, and I knew because my dream-self still had the burns and tracker jacker stings, but they weren't extremely noticeable.<p>

I didn't know why I was running until my dream-self screamed his name. Loudly, desperately. And I knew it wasn't a memory when I ran into the lake clearing and found Cato and Peeta at each others necks. But I didn't move in my dream. I wanted to, but I didn't.

I just watched.

Peeta was putting up a hell of a fight, but Cato still forced him onto the ground, sword at Peetas' beautiful neck. Cato turned and looked at me, a smile creeping onto his face.

"Here to watch Lover Boy die, Girl on Fire?" he asked, pushing the sword a little closer to Peetas' throat. Yet, I still didn't respond to what was happening. Not even when Cato said he would enjoy killing Peeta.

I watched, the whole time. I tried to scream, but my throat hurt too much. I tried to run, but I didn't move.

I watched as Cato killed Peeta. He took his time, killing him slowly. I knew Peeta was in pain because I saw the tears on his cheeks, I heard the murderess screams. I felt sick. I felt dead. The boy with the bread was gone. My throat hurt more then ever. I didn't understand why. But it wouldn't let me cry. I just sat back and witnessed someone I've loved so much get torn apart.

I began to cry. I began to scream. I tasted the unmistakable taste of blood as it danced in my mouth. I screamed louder. I screamed his name over and over, bawling like the little helpless girl I was, praying Peeta would come back.

I looked up to see Cato walk up and grab my arms, and then he shook me, hard and violently. But he wasn't saying what I thought he would, considering I was screaming nasty comments, yelling and crying over the death of the boy with the bread, spitting swear words into Catos' ugly face. But my head started to become less foggy, and I realized he was shaking me gentler then I thought he was, and his voice was different. It was calm, soft, soothing.

"Katniss." It said, "Please, Katniss. Snap out of it." The voice spook words of worry, but Catos' eyes were almost murderous, staring me down. I closed my eyes tightly. I didn't want to look at Cato, and I didn't understand why he wasn't talking in his normal voice. The voice he was using.. It was Peetas' voice. I knew it was. It was the same tone he used in the past when we slept next to each other, when he would to whisper words of pure love and caring into my ear. But how is that possible? I just watched him die, didn't I?

I slowly opened my eyes again. I wasn't in the Arena. I wasn't in Catos' unforgiving arms. I was in my room. And when I saw whose arms I was in, I did everything in my power not to kiss his lips, not to touch him all over and know he's real. Instead, I rested my head gently on his chest, his arms rapping around me.

I didn't realize that I had truly been crying, but I knew instantly because Peetas night-shirt was drenched in them.

"Shh." Peeta whispered. "Its okay, Katniss, I'm here. Don't cry. Please, don't cry."

I cried even harder. I've missed him so much. I missed this so much. After half a year without him, I knew I was broken. And having to deal with seeing him for the past 2 months and not being able to show my affection, it just killed me.

Peeta gently rocked me back and forth in his arms, kissing my head ever so softly. I calmed down a bit after that, but that only allowed questions to stampede through my head. How did he hear me? Why is he being so gentle? Did he miss me too? I shut myself up, deciding that assuming would just make matters worse in my screwed up head.

"Peeta?" I began, finally getting the courage to look up at him. His face was sad; tears were barely visible in the late night. His eyes were such a bright blue, they were almost paralyzing. "How did you know I was having a nightmare?" I asked quietly

His face instantly flushed. He smiled a sheepish smile. "Actually, I was on my way over here.. I had a nightmare... And I-I" he stuttered, looking away from my face and closing his eyes. For the first time ever, the boy with the bread had to think about what to say.  
>"I needed to make sure you were okay. I was walking out my front door and I heard you scream. I came here as fast as I could and found you like this." he said, gesturing to the blood on my hands that I hadn't noticed before. It looked like I had dug my nails into my skin. It stung, but I didn't want to get up from this position. Peeta had his arms around my waist, holding me in his warm lap.<p>

I sighed looking back up at Peeta. He was searching my face, almost as if for an answer. I stared into his eyes, and waited to see if he found what he was searching for.

He didn't.

"Common, let's get you cleaned up." I stood up with Peeta, walking into my bathroom and to the sink. He put his arms around me, grabbing my hands and turning the water on. I winced when the bitter cold water touched my cuts. Peetas fingers softly rubbed the cuts, washing off all of the blood on my ruff hands.

We walked back into my room, and I went and flopped back down in my bed. Peeta tucked me in, just like I was a little child, vulnerable and pure to the world. The exact opposite of what I truly was.

He looked at me with sad eyes, then turned to leave. My hand quickly flew up, grabbing his wrist. "No," I say. "Don't leave me." I tugged gently on his wrist, begging silently that he would come and lay down, that he would kiss my neck, his arms rapping me in safely against his strong chest.

He looked unsure, almost confused, his body facing the corner of my room between me and my door. I frowned, and then gently pulled his wrist again. He turned back towards me, lying down on my bed without saying one word. And I barley caught the smile on his face.

Peeta rapped his strong arms protectively around me, his chin resting on my head. I couldn't help but rap my small arms around his waist. I slowly breathed in. I smelt the undeniable smell of yeast and dill. His chest was next to my cheek, strong and comfy like a man's chest should be. It felt just like old times.

Before I knew what I was doing, my lips reached up and kissed his collarbone. "Stay with me." I mumbled to his neck. My eyes widened with panic as I shoved my face back into his chest, cursing myself for not thinking. He was going to flip. There was going to be an episode, I just knew there was.

Peeta flinched a bit when my lips touched him, but he didn't push me away. Instead, he pulled me in tighter to him, shocking me beyond my beliefs. I knew he was smiling when he said the word that reminded me how much I loved him. "Always." he whispered, kissing my head gently with his soft lips.

With Peetas arms around me, I slowly fell into a long, dreamless sleep.


	3. Second Chance

_A/N: I am such a horrible person for not updating sooner. I wanted to update on Thursday, but I am a dancer and I was at dance till 9 then I had to do homework. And Friday as soon as i got home from school I had to pack to go on a trip with my best friend to see her step-brother play football 7 hours away. I just got home only a few hours ago, and this was my first priority. I'm so sorry, guys. You all get virtual cookies for waiting. I will try to update every 5 days. If I don't, just wait a few days longer. If I still haven't updated, message me. Again, I'm so sorry._

_The inspiration for this chapter were 2 songs, one called Second Chance by Shinedown and another called Sorry by Buckcherry. Now go have fun reading this chapter. And if you're an easy crier, grab a box of Kleenex, because this will be a bit heartbreaking._

_Happy reading.(:_

3.  
>I woke up a few hours later to a small hand tapping on my shoulder. I moaned, "Peeta. It's too early to get up." A small giggle erupted from my side of the bed. "Well, good thing I'm not Peeta."<p>

My eyes flew open. Looking down at me was a blue eyed, blond haired girl. She was wearing a white blouse tucked into a blue skirt, the back of the blouse hanging out like a duck tail. Hearing me scream at the top of my lungs, Peeta bolted into a sitting position.

The little girl vanished.

Peeta was wide awake now. His eyebrows were dipped downwards in confusion, and his arms were already pulling me tightly against him. When he saw there wasn't anything in the room, he let his arm drop, giving me a worried look.

"Katniss, you wanna tell me what just happened that you had to scream like that?" he slurred, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

I looked around, confused and scared, but well aware of who that beautiful little girl was. The shinning blue eyes haunted me every time I closed my eyes. I just didn't understand why she was here, or why she would ever want to haunt me.

"Pee-Peeta.. It was.. Sh-she was.. Ohmygod." I shoved my head into his lap and covered my eyes so he couldn't see the tears. But being Peeta, he knew.  
>Gently, he pulled me back up to look at him.<p>

"Katniss don't make me ask again." his tone was so gentle, so kind. _'Just like a fathers_ _tone'_ a little voice in the back of my head said. I tried to ignore it, but it was a true statement. He was strong and gentle at the same time, the way a father _should_ be. But then again, who am I to judge? The best memories I have of my father are of learning how to hunt and being out in the woods with him. Any memories of love and affection are replaced by war and hurt. Yet, I couldn't help but think about how much I wanted to be around a child, someone so pure and innocent to the world, not yet affected by war and loss. Prim used to be that child, but she's gone now. And I needed that little bit of innocence to hold on to.

_Katniss,_ I scolded myself, _Are you really thinking of having children with Peeta at a time like this?_ That was the sad part. I never wanted children, yet here I am, wanting one. I wasn't sure if I wanted to physically _have _a child. Plutarch set up a new organization called Adoption. It was meant for people who were willing to take in the children whose parents died in the war. Maybe I could just adopt a child. But am I even ready to be a mother? No, no I'm not. I'm still mentally unstable. I haven't been participating in my treatment, either. They've called, and they keep calling. I just choose not to answer.

I felt strong fingers start rubbing my palm. I looked back up at Peeta. His eyes were yet again searching my face, almost as if it would give him the awaited answer. Knowing I was frightened by whatever I saw, he somehow knew the rubbing would comfort me.

I finally found my courage, and spoke in a hushed tone. "Prim, Peeta. She was here. She woke me up. She was in the room, in the same-" Realization flooded me like a crashing wave. I gasped, looking into Peetas' wide eyes.

"I can't believe I forgot... Oh my god Peeta. It's been three years..." I trailed off as a tear rolled down my cheek.

Today was the anniversary of our Reaping. The one where we both got yanked into this mess we never wanted to be apart of. I knew why Prims' ghost was here. She was haunting me because I forgot about the day that led to her death two and a half years later. My little duck, gone from this world, and into the next.

Cold and lifeless, a tear traced down my jaw line. It laughed at me, mocking me for being weak.

Peeta lifted his hand and gently whipped the tear off of my face with his thumb. He pulled me into his chest, cooing words of comfort into my ear.

"She's gone Peeta," I cried, "She's really, really gone." I couldn't help but feel it was my fault, every part of it. I couldn't stop the Reaping, no. But I could've ignored the rebellion. Or run away. Or made sure Prim stayed safe. I could've saved all those peoples lives, saved there families from the mourning. I could've protected everyone better. If I had just done something different, maybe I could have saved him, he wouldn't be so confused, in so much pain. Maybe he would've loved me still. I didn't save him. I let him get scarred deeply. If none of this wouldn't have happened, he wouldn't be as screwed up as I am..

Another tear traced down my cheek. I didn't love this Peeta. I'm still in love with the boy he was, not the man he is. But I want to love him... Don't I?  
>I felt the trembling hands on my back, and I knew it was true. Peeta had changed. He was different. He was scarred and burned and exposed. He was scared, and fearful. He was nothing of the man he used to be. Things were never to be the same. I still love someone he's not, and he doesn't remember how to love me, or if he ever did.<p>

"Why are you still here Peeta?"  
>He pulled back from our hug, astonished. "Wha- I - I don't understand." he stammered.<p>

"Why are you here? In my house? In District 12? Why didn't you go to another district? They offered, didn't they?" I knew I was pushing him, but I wanted answers.

He took his arms off from around me and rested them on his lap. Looking down to the ground, his eye brows furrowed in deep thought, and his mouth was pursed shut.

I waited. I just looked at him. Why was he here? He didn't remember me, let alone love me. I knew because I still felt the figures crushing my throat, willing me to die. It broke me, and I know I'm never going to recover with him being here. I wanted the boy with the bread, and yesterday I thought he was coming back, but I knew he wasn't. He never was.

I shouldn't have stopped myself two weeks ago. I would've died quietly, quickly. I didn't understand why Peeta had planted those Primroses outside my house 4 weeks ago. When they died, I felt numb. The reminder of my sweet sister flooded my memory. It was enough to push me into cutting my wrist. It felt good when the blade cut my skin, letting the blood trickle down my arm. The pain was nothing in comparison to watching my sister burn to death, or feeling those same flames lick my body. It wasn't fair that Peeta pulled me away, burning himself too. He should've saved Prim, because I wanted to die. I still do. My heartache is like a roar, a never ending roar in my soul, continuously getting louder and louder. My mother left her child, because she still blames me for killing her baby. Gale left me, for no other reason then because he hates me; he hates what _pain_I caused him, when in truth, he won't ever know what real pain feels like. Prim left me because I let her slip through my fingers. She would've been here right now if it wasn't for my stupid mistakes. And Peeta, my sweet, sweet boy with the bread, left me when the Capitol took him, changing him. I was broken beyond repair, and the physical pain felt good.

"I came back, Katniss," I was snapped back into reality by Peetas' words. He was standing by my window, looking out with complete caution and concentration painting his face. "I came back because I know I was once loved here."

A bullet, soft and clear, punctured a hole in my heart, letting all the love and pain slip out.

"Most my family's dead, and all the people I remember I loved think I'm a monster. But I _was_ once loved by people here in District 12, and I guess I'm now chasing after the life I used to have." He looked over at me, a question on his lips.  
>"Why are you still here?"<p>

I smiled sadly. "I have nowhere else to go. And believe it or not, I too, was once loved here," I said, my voice cracking, "and I know I won't ever be who I was or have the life I had, but I don't know what else to do with myself. Everyone but my mother in my family is dead, but she wont ever forgive me for what happened to Primrose, and I don't blame her." I chanced a look at Peeta. He was still looking out the window, but this time confusion and hurt were the only emotions visible. I sadly looked back down at my burned hands, not stopping myself from continuing. "And if that's not enough, I can't go a day without thinking about all the people who died because of me. I was once happy here. It would be a lie to say I didn't want to be happy again." Voice cracking, I whipped the tears from my cheeks. This time when I looked up, Peeta was looking at me, his hands in loose fists by his side, his back against the wall.

"I guess were both screwed up people." he mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets.  
>Scoffing, he said "Guess the odds weren't in our favor."<p>

I got up out of my bed and walked into my bathroom, trying to hide the tears building up in my eyes.

"They never were."

_A/N: I Hope you all were happy with this. PLEASE PLEASE review._

_~Live on_


	4. Learning to Fall

_A/N: Hello! I hope you guys will love this chapter! I worked really hard on it! There is going to be 2 Pov changes, so be ready! PLEASE review! And also, read my other story called Learning to Fall. It's about Finnick and Annie. (:_

_This chapter was inspired by the song 'Learning to Fall' by Boys like Girls. It fits with the couples in the Hunger Games, so that's why the other story is called 'Learning to Fall'. _

_Happy reading!_

4. Learning to Fall

When I came out of the shower, I looked into the mirror. I rid my house of all mirrors, except the ones in the bathrooms. I couldn't seem to get them down. I tried throwing objects like my hair brush at them, but it didn't even scratch the darn thing. I didn't even use them on an everyday bases. But this isn't just any other day.

My eyes were swollen from crying, my hair was dripping water forming small puddle on the floor, my shoulders were red from my hands gripping them so hard. I looked at the patches of skin covering my arms. They were too pale. They didn't go with the rest of my olive skin, in fact, they stood out like a sore thumb. Especially over my chest. It used to be small and olive. Now, it was bigger and patched.

I traced over the line where the patches met my skin with my fingers, wondering if Peeta would still think I was beautiful. He has patches of his own from pulling me away from the fire, but everything looks beautiful on him. The patches were a shade lighter than his skin, so he could wear t-shirts without anyone noticing, and he didn't have to feel embarrassed. He still looked normal when he had cloths on; just another man with blond hair and breath-taking blue eyes.  
>But without a shirt, his chest and sides reveal our life story. When I saw him for the first time since the Rebellion, he was working on the new bakery. Shirtless. I couldn't help but stare. The marks on his skin made him even more beautiful. The scars on his chest and stomach, the patches of skin barely visible, his strong biceps flexing and relaxing. It would be absolute bullshit if I said I didn't wish I could run my hands across his upper body, kissing every beautiful inch. I felt like a child for not having the courage to tell him I still love him, that I am his family. I was in the same position I was who-knows-how-many months ago.<p>

I looked down at my feet, feeling disgusting for pitying myself. I was Katniss Everdeen for god's sake. When did I ever not take what I wanted?

_When they forced you into an Arena with 23 other teens, telling you to kill or be killed. _Oh great. The voice was back.

_Damn conscious. I didn't ask for your opinion, or you're damned common sense. _ I snarled to myself.

Great. Now I was fighting with myself. This day just keeps getting better and better.  
>I threw on some cloths then unlocked the door and pushed it open, letting out the steam from my shower. Plus, there is no point in keeping it locked if I'm not naked.<p>

I grabbed my brush and was lifting it to my head when I saw Peeta in the doorway.  
>"Can I help you?" I ask, a hint of pain unintentionally sneaking its way into my words.<br>He reached his hand out and pointed to my brush, "May I?"

I nodded, a little too eagerly. Peeta strode in and took the brush from my right hand, placing it in his. His left hand barley touched me as it brushed over my hair.

"I feel like I've done this before." his breath was hot in my ear, tickling it, leaving me wanting more.

"You brushed it once, before the Quarter Quell, in the room I was in at the Capitol. It was the night before training began. You were so gentle, so skilled..." I trailed off, not knowing what else I wanted to say. But Peeta didn't mind, because he nodded then began to brush my hair.  
>I closed my eyes, loving the feeling of his fingers grazing my ears and my head; loving the feeling of his gentle strokes.<p>

After brushing it, he began to braid my hair. I opened my eyes to make sure he didn't screw up, but he didn't notice. His eyebrows dipped in concentration, his skilled fingers threaded through my hair.

When he was done, he placed the braid carefully on my back, commenting on how my hair is almost back to its usual length, and that it was unfortunate that some of it got scorched off.  
>"It wasn't fair that all this tarred us apart." I couldn't have been more shocked then if he told me he was a woman.<p>

"I remember that I once had strong feelings for you... But I don't remember feeling love." I turned and stared straight at him, my braid whipping over my shoulder.

"I know we were together. And I know the Capitol took it all away. What we had..."  
>He hesitated, stepping forward and fingered the bottom of my hair, thinking hard.<br>"It was so beautiful." He turned and left, walking out of my bedroom. I heard the pounding of his feet on the stairs, than the opening of my oven.

My mind was still stuck on what he said. _It was so beautiful._  
>And I wasn't sure if he was talking about my hair, or the relationship we once had.<p>

* * *  
>Peeta POV:<p>

I ran quickly down her stairs and into the kitchen, a deep blush creeping onto my face.  
><em>It was so beautiful?<em> Really, Mellark? Was that the beat you could come up with?  
>I sighed and opened the oven. I needed to blow off some steam.<p>

It was hard to tell Katniss about the things I was beginning to remember. Even if she didn't know it, she was helping tremendously. I knew the Capitol didn't touch my memories of the night in the train, of the long, kind kisses she gave me. But they became foggy after all of the high jacking. What she did last night... Pulling me into bed with her... It kept me up till almost 3 am. We shouldn't have been up at 1, but I can't help but feel that fate was playing _with_ us for once, and not against us. She had a nightmare just as I was outside her house, debating whether or not to come in. It means something. I just know it does.

I got out the flour, sugar, eggs, and vanilla. Cookies were an absolute must, especially on Prim's day. Sure, it wasn't her birthday, but it was Prim's day. It was the day that started it all...  
>I missed Prim. So much. When Katniss wasn't around, Prim was. We didn't talk much directly after my first games, only before the Quarter Quell, and we really bonded. She trusted me, and I trusted her. I could talk to her about anything, and even at such a young age, she would understand. Even when I was a monster, yelling and screaming at Katniss, Prim would come in at night, when all the doctors had left, and listen. She would wait till I was out of breath from screaming, then she would take out a pad and some pencils. She would draw for me, animals and plants. I was so confused. I knew she was Katniss' sister, and I knew everyone thought I was unstable. Yet, the little girl would sit and draw, listening to the dirty words I said and ignoring them. She had such a big impact on my recovery. If it wasn't for her, it would've been so hard to see the good in Katniss' heart again.<p>

I was going to visit Prim today, for sure. After the Rebellion, the first thing done in 12 was a memorial with a list of all the people who had died in the Rebellion. My family was the first. Why, I will never know. Then, in the middle, was Primrose Everdeen, in big bold letters. Above her name, was Cinna, and below, Porta.

Behind the memorial there was a grave yard. It wasn't anything too fancy, District 12 still being very poor, but it was enough.

Everyday I visited her, and every day I brought fresh flowers. I would sit and talk to the tombstone, telling Prim about 12 and how things were going with me. Then, I would promise to look out after Katniss.

When I went the other day, I found a letter sitting by the tombstone with a fresh bouquet of flowers. I thought it was from Katniss, but I knew it wasn't when I saw the handwriting on the letter. It was sloppy, like a males. It wasn't in an envelope, just a folded piece of paper.  
>I picked it up and opened it. Prim wouldn't mind. She knew the whole little saying about curiosity killing the cat.<p>

Primrose,  
>I'm sorry, Prim. I didn't know, if I would've known you know I would've stopped it. And I know you forgive me. You were always so sweet in that way. But please make Katniss understand. She hates me for it. And I'm pretty sure she thinks I hate her. But I don't. You know that, right? Please convince her that I'm sorry. I miss you, Prim. You were more than just a little girl to me. You were like my sister. Sometimes it felt like you were more than a little sister, and more like a daughter. I know you forgave me, but I'll never forgive myself.<br>I came back to 12 for work. Just for a week, but I needed to do this first. I've talked to your mother, and I showed her the beginning of this letter. She cried, and then gave me this little plaid ribbon. She said it was a great importance, so I wanted to give it to you.  
>I'm so sorry Prim. I always will be.<br>Xoxo,  
>Gale.<p>

The note shocked me. But after reading it, I didn't blame Gale anymore. He didn't know, and it's not fair I hate on him for not knowing.

I'm planning on showing Katniss the letter soon. I still wasn't sure where I stood with her. I knew there were feelings somewhere, but they were hidden under hurt and remorse. I just needed to find them again.

I paused mid-knead to take out the ribbon from my pocket. It was so familiar. I just couldn't put my finger on why.  
>I slipped it back into my pocket and began kneading the bread again. That's when the memory hit me like a hammer in the head.<p>

_"Peeta," Katniss says lightly. "You said at the interview you've had a crush on me forever. When did forever start?"  
>A deep blush rode over my face, and I couldn't help but be grateful for the dark clouds covering the arena.<br>"Oh, let's see. I guess the first day of school. We were 5. You had on a red plaid dress and your hair...it was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed you out when we were waiting to line up."  
>"Your father? Why?" she asks<br>"He said, 'See that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner,'"  
>"What? You're making that up!" Katniss exclaimed, punching my arm playfully.<br>I smiled, "No, true story. And I said, 'A coal miner? Why did she want a coal miner when she codger had you?' And he said, 'Because when he sings...even the birds stop to listen.'"  
>Katniss smiled distantly, almost as if having a flash back. "That's true. They do. I mean, they did."<em>

_I smiled, happy she wasn't seeing the wanting that was without a doubt in my eyes. "So that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, every bird outside the windows fell silent," I say, whispering the last part._

"_Oh, please," Katniss says, laughing._

"_No, it happened. And right when your song ended, I knew – just like your mother- I was a goner," I say, smiling at her, a small blush creeping onto her cheeks._

"_Then for the next eleven years, I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you."_

"_Without success," she said, adding her two-sense. _

_I nodded, "Without success. So, in a way, my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck."_

I took back out the ribbon and starred at it. _Was that a screwed memory? No. It can't be. Katniss wasn't trying to kill me..._

Maybe… Maybe I do love her.

I slammed my fists into the dough. How could I be so sure I love her? I mean… She-she tried to kill me. Didn't she? No, no she didn't. She tried to save me.

I thrust the stupid dough into the pan. Damned capitol. I don't care if I say the d word. They messed up my head. I knew I loved Katniss when I wasn't with her, but when she was near me, all the flashbacks occur. And those few unfortunate times when I cut myself thinking about her. Yeah, those are the worst.

It was getting better though. She was helping so much. It was slowly getting better. I just couldn't wait till the day where I could kiss her. I missed her soft lips, so much.

I put the bread into the oven and began to take out the chicken in her fridge. I had a dinner to make.

Katniss Pov.

I walked downstairs after about three hours. It was only about 4:30, and I was already sick of crying.

"Peeta," I say, walking into the kitchen finding a full dinner prepared on the table. "Wha-Wha.. Peeta. What the heck is this?"

"Katniss, I need you to read something. Just... sit down."

I did what I was told and sat at the chair closest to me. Peeta Walked to the opposite side of the table and sat, folding his hands on the table.

"First off, I need to explain. You know the memorial in town for the people who died during the rebellion?" Peeta asks, looking to make sure I'm following.

"Uh... Yes?"

"Well.. I go visit Prim every day. And- when I went the other day- I found this…" He pulled out a letter from his pocket. I felt my eyebrows dip in confusion. Who would write a letter to Prim?

I gasped as soon as I saw the handwriting. This was Gale's. I haven't talked to him since he left, let alone seen him.

I unfolded the letter and read it in silence. When I finished, tears were drowning my face. He was sorry? Bullshit. If he was sorry he should be here telling me that in person. Not on some stupid letter that he wrote to my dead sister, no matter how incredibly sweet it is.

Peeta got up from the table. I was expecting him to come over and hug me, tell me it was okay. But instead he when into my cabinets and took out plates and silverware. I hesitated when I saw him taking out _3_ sets instead of two.

"Haymitch finally joining us for dinner?" I ask, whipping the tears from my face.

"Not exactly." Then the doorbell rang.

I went up to get it since Peeta was setting the table. I walked slowly, taking my time. It was Haymitch, he wouldn't mind if I took longer than a few seconds. Walking slowly into the living room, another four chimes went off. I walked a little faster, mumbling about being impatient.

Opening the big dark door, I was paralyzed by the sight.

"_Gale?"_

_A/N: Jeeze. Longest chapter yet… To rushed at the end? I donno. I think it was. REMEMBER! REVIEWW!_


	5. How to Love

_A/N: 3 WEEKS? 3WEEKS! JEEZE! IM SO SORRY GUYS! I didnt mean for it to be that long of a wait! But I finally got it out.. So dont kill me._

_This chapter required alot of thought. I wanted it to be as real as possible. I know some of you wont like the whole Gale thing, but it has to happen. I hate to think that he just left Katniss without ever calling or contacting her. So dont stop reading just because of that._

_The insperation for this whole chapter was How to Love by Lil' Wayne. Its an amazing song and fits Katniss very very well. If you havnt heard it, you sould go listen to it.(:_

_READ. LOVE. REVIEW.(;_

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><p>"Hi, Katniss. May... May I come in?" Gale asked politely, shoving his hands nervously into his pockets. I didn't want him to come in. He wasn't MY Gale. I didn't know who the male in my doorway was. He had short cropped hair, fancy cloths and shoes, and stress bags under his eyes. The Gale I knew was the exact opposite of this man.<p>

"No." I said, and then I began to swing the door close when Peeta grabbed my hand.  
>"Gale! Hey! It's great to see you again! Please, come in!" I turned and glared at him. I was sure Gale would be confused about this; two different reactions from two different people. Wonderful, right?<p>

I turned and stomped over to my backdoor, throwing it open violently and marching out without another look back at the two men in my house.

I couldn't believe Peeta. He invited the boy who murdered my sister into my house, without my permission. And Gale, thinking he could show up and just apologize for killing the only person who was still there for me, and then for leaving me. He was not going to be forgiven. _Ever._

I marched right over to Peetas house and into his backdoor. This was not fair. I was not going to be stuck in a house with _them_ for the rest of the night. Minus the fact that I used to love both of them, their both being completely stupid. Peeta can barley control himself around me at times, so he goes and invites the one person who is convinced that he will hurt me? And Gale just showed up after 6 months, thinking it'll be okay. Maybe I would've forgiven him if he didn't leave me to suffer. He never even said sorry..

I plopped down on the couch just as Peeta came storming into the house.  
>"What the hell do you think your doing?" he asked, putting his beautifully scared hands onto his hips.<br>"Why did you invite that ass into my house without my permission?" I snapped back, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You would've said no." he responded simply.  
>I snarled at him. "How dare you go behind my back!"<br>Peeta sighed, putting his head into his hands, "Please go back into your house."  
>I scoffed, "As long as he's in there, I'm not moving."<br>Peeta looked down at me from across the room.

"Fine." he sighed as he began walking over to me with his arms out stretched. I smiled; finally, my Peeta was back. I reached out my arms, too, ready to receive his hug.  
>But I was wrong.<p>

Peetas arms rapped quickly around my waist as he picked me up off the couch and threw me over his shoulder like a sack of flower.

I let out a scream, "Peeta! Put me down!"  
>"You said you weren't moving. So I'm moving you."<br>I began to pound his back with my fists. "PEETA! YOU-"  
>"Shut up, Katniss."<p>

I gasped at the force in his voice, but I obediently was quiet.  
>"Your going to sit threw this damned dinner and you're going to be pleasant. Gale wants to work things out, and you're being difficult. I invited him for <em>you<em>. Not for me, for you. I know I'm being harsh but you're acting like a five year old. Please just try to be good. For me?"

I sighed. He had a point, but that didn't mean I liked it.  
>"Fine, Peeta. Can you put me down now?"<br>"So you can run away again? I don't think so."  
>"Damn you, Peeta."<br>"You'll thank me soon."

Peeta dropped me back onto my feet right before we entered my house, mumbling about how bad of an idea it was, sauntering into my house with my body thrown over his shoulder.

He opened my door with a smile on his face, wail Gale was sitting on the couch with his hands folded in his lap, raising an eyebrow as we walked back in.

"I apologize for the inconvenience. Shall we go eat?" Peeta asked Gale, motioning to the kitchen.  
>Gale stood, almost uneasily, then followed Peeta and I into our kitchen. I sat down at my normal spot, as did Peeta, leaving Gale the position between us.<p>

Peeta began asking Gale about his new job, and my mind started to wander. Before I knew it, I was thinking about what it would be like if the Hunger Games didn't ruin my life, if Prim never was reaped. I would still be hunting, but more then usual, and Gale would've had my back. Peeta... Peeta would still love me; I just would never know it. He would still bake, but admire me from afar. Gale would've been the person I sleep with at night...

No... No, he wouldn't. I didn't want to get married. I never wanted kids. Now, because of the beautiful man across me, that's all I ever thought about. I love because of him. And even if the Hunger Games didn't happen..  
>It still would've been him. I never noticed it, but when I caught Peeta staring, I would always get a pulling in my gut. I <em>still<em> get that same pulling, every time he looks my way. It was always him. It's always going to be him.  
>The table went quiet. I assumed they had finished there conversation, but the way they were looking at me made me uncomfortable.<p>

"What?" I asked, taking another forkful of squirrel into my mouth.  
>"Katniss..." Gale began, "I said that the company I work for was debating whether or not to move a leg up here to 12. And they said that if it does, I would be expected to come here permanently and work."<br>I got up quickly from the table. He _couldn't_ live here again. Not after all that had happened. He needed to stay back in 2.

Blood rushing to my head, I pushed back from the table and ran out the kitchen door.  
>"Kat-" Peeta began to say, but it was muffled by the slamming of my front door.<p>

I ran across the town, tears stinging my eyes, anger clutching my fists. People began to stop and stare. After all, it isn't everyday you see the Mockingjay run through town like a crazed female.

I ran into the meadow and past the line marking where the fence used to be. I kept running until I reached the place I kept my bow and arrows. I moved away the moss and covering, snatching up my old bow. I had my fathers in the house, but this is the one I used before the Hunger Games.

I looked down and saw Gale's old bow sitting neatly under where mine had been. Taking it out, I threw it on the ground in a blaze of range.

I kept running, farther and farther, fast and furiously. I didn't stop until I burst into the clearing. The lake glistened the reflection of the sun into my teary eyes. I didn't mind though.

The leaves to the far left of me rustled, and I turned and let my arrow fly. I heard the familiar hit of the animal, and I walked quietly over to the bird. But it wasn't just a bird. It was a dove. A beautiful, peaceful, rare bird. And just like that, I broke down. The tears came hard. My crying was silent, but the fluid screamed out of pain. It traced marks around my face, no doubt, making it red.

I cried even harder when I realized why I was crying. This bird was a symbol of peace, and I had just put a sloppy shot through its wing. No, it wasn't dead, but it was wounded. It showed that this is what I had done to the county, and what I am still doing. I'm killing the peace, but how does one change that?

"We used to come here all the time." I didn't need to look back. I knew the voice.  
>And I felt a ping of pride when my hand made contact with his right cheek.<br>"How _dare_ you." I hissed, narrowing my teary eyes.

Gale's fingers reached up to cup the red hand mark slowly appearing on his face.  
>"What the-" His cheeks turned a dark purple, and his eyes went wide, suddenly becoming interested in his shoes.<p>

"Peeta showed you the letter, didn't he?" I didn't have to answer before he went off.  
>"God damn it! I told him not to! I knew you would act this way! But you know what Katniss; I didn't know he was going to find it. I wanted it to be a secret between me and Prim. I didn't know what would happen to the note! Maybe her spirit, wherever it is, would've red it. I just wanted her to convince you I didn't mean it! I don't know if it was my bomb, but you know it wasn't intended to kill her or anyone else on the Rebels side! I loved her too, you know. I always felt like I was the father-"<p>

"That we never had. Yeah. Thanks for that reminder." I snapped back bitterly.  
>"I didn't do it intentionally, Katniss. You should know that. But it doesn't matter. We will be 50 years old, and you'll still think I killed your sister."<p>

****Peeta POV.**

My breath was heavy and hard. I just ran almost a mile to catch up with Gale. But I knew I was too late, so I began walking almost ten minuets ago. Now, here I am, hiding behind a tree, eavesdropping.

"Maybe it's because your brilliant idea killed her." I heard Katniss' bitter voice say. She was so harsh sometimes... It was so attractive.

"I didn't mean to Katniss!" I peaked around my tree to see them face to face, Gale's hands gripping her upper-arms tightly. I couldn't help but flinch. If he makes one little move on her...

"I never meant to. I loved her so much. Why don't you understand that?"  
>I quickly moved back behind my nice big oak. Katniss <em>did<em> need to forgive him, but the way he touched her is making me uncomfortable. I knew she couldn't know I was here. She would murder me. So I shut my mouth and swore to keep quiet.

"Remember when we first met? It was fall. Beautiful weather. You were looking at my snare. Then we began hunting together... And I told you that we should look out for each other... And I meant it. But as soon as I met Prim, I swore to myself that I would look out for her too. If I would've known, Katniss, I swear I wouldn't have ever created that bomb. Please, understand."

I heard Katniss let out a big sigh. "I do, Gale. But it's always hard to let go."  
>"I know..." his voice mumbled. My stomach locked, and I knew that they were in an embrace. I knew that his lips were muffled by her hair. I felt my fists clench in anger. That's <em>my<em> girl, not his.

"Gale... I shot a bird in the wing... Not a bird. A dove. We need to help it. Let's bring it back to the house... Alright?"

I got up fast and waited till they were a bit farther away, then began to sprint back home.

They came back almost an hour after I did. I knew it was because I ran and they walked, but it still put me into a bad mood. What if Gale tried something? I mean was it my fault, because after Katniss left I told him he should go talk to her? I just wanted them to make up.. But why do I feel so over protective? Over that mutt? _No_ _Peeta_. _She_ _isn't_ _a_ _mutt_. _Snap_ _out've_ _it_.

They rapped the dove's wing up with my help, and it was almost alright. The bird would need to be nursed for the next few days, and Gale almost instantly volunteered.

"Ehh," he said when Katniss asked if he was sure, "Iv got nothing better to do."  
>He left with a hug to both of us and nothing else.<p>

Katniss went up stairs to take a shower and I sat on the couch with a pencil and a drawing pad, trying to sketch the seen I saw today. His arms were rapped tightly around her neck, her fingers trying to pry them off, his face conceived with a thirst for murder, her face searching for air.

I kept drawing, not really thinking much about what I was in fact drawing. My mind was fighting for control, but the high jacking was still in gear.

"Hey, Peeta."  
>I looked up just as Katniss waltzed into the room. Her hair was braided neatly behind her head. So beautiful, so natural...<p>

"What are you drawing?" she asked, sitting down next to me. I looked down quickly then shut the drawing book.  
>"Nothing," I lied, smiling.<p>

She gave me an odd look, and then rested her hand on my shoulder.  
>"Thank you for all you did tonight, Peeta. I really... I really appreciate it."<br>I looked down at her hand, feeling the fast electric shock ran through my whole body. She still had that affect on me even after the high jacking. I just loved her so _damn_ much.

_Did_ _I_ _really_ _just_ _say_ _that?_

Yes, yes I did. She made me happy. She made the entire high jacking look like a joke. She made me get those very undeniable butterflies. I did love her, and I would never, _ever_ let anything happen to her.

"I mean... I really, really appreciate it." Her cheeks turned a bright pink, and she ducked her head to try and hide it. I couldn't help but smiling. Katniss is not who she was. She's vulnerable now, she smiles when she's not upset, and she blushes sometimes. And I think it's adorable.

"Good. I was afraid you were going to slap me or something." I say, poking her arm gently. She smiled and nodded her head.

"What were you drawing?" she asks, moving her hands toward the book in my lap.  
>"Oh..." I stumbled with my words as I moved the book away from her, "Nothing, really."<p>

Her eyes narrow and I narrow mine back, mocking her whole expression and trying to get her mind off the notebook.

"If it was nothing, why won't you let me see it?" I opens my mouth to respond, but her fingers were rapped around my notebook and taking it away from me.

"Kat-" Her hand landed on my chest, pushing me back against the couch.  
>"Please don't-" But I was already too late. Katniss' eyes began to widen in horror. I dropped my head into my hands, trying to hide my eyes from the sight.<p>

"P-Peeta... How... Wh- what?" She was stumbling, and then she gasped.  
>"You don't actually think he'd do this... Do you?" she asked quietly.<p>

I looked down at the floor. I didn't want to answer this. I didn't think he'd hurt her.. But I was so afraid he would.  
>Katniss handed the notebook back to me and sat down next to me.<p>

The silence began creeping back around us. A pin drop could've been heard, other then our quiet breathing.  
>"Peeta, he wouldn't do that. And I know it might've just been the high jacking drawing but... You need to understand that Gale wouldn't do anything to hurt me." She whispered, resting her hand on mine in my lap.<br>I nodded, "I'm sorry. But it really wasn't in my intentions that you would see that."

"I know..." she sighed. And I smiled because I knew she was thinking about how stubborn she is.  
>She stood up, "I'm going to go to bed. You gonna come up now, or later?"<p>

"Later." I didn't try to explain why, but Katniss didn't care.  
>"Alright. Night."<br>"Night." I mumbled.

Katniss stopped before exiting the room and looked back at me. "And Peeta?"  
>"Yes, Katniss?"<br>"Next time you try to spy on me, you should be a lot quieter."  
>My cheeks heated up instantly. She <em>knew<em> I was there?

"Night." she smirked, walking out of the room and leaving me staring at the place she stood a minuet ago in complete embarrassment and shock.

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><p><em>AN: Explanation time. I think it didnt take too long for Peeta to find his memorie back. Im trying to get this whole thing right, so hang in there. I think he got some of it back, but doesn't know how to tell Katniss because hes afraid she might not love him still. Its going to be a long fluffy and painful prosses, so be ready.(:_

_ Hope you guys liked it! Next chapter will be out BEFOR another 3 weeks past.(:_


	6. Beautiful

_A/N: I cant believe how incredibly lazy I've been. I mean two weeks, and this is probably the shortest chappie yet. But I have everything all planed out for the whole story. And maybe even a sequal... (; _

_So I need your opinions. Do you guys like the story the way it is going? Or should there be... a twist? For example.. Someone 'comming back from the dead'?_

_So were gonna have a poll. If you like the way the story is (by the way it is, I mean the way everyone thinks it turns out), review, and at the end say FudgeMonkeys. If you want somone to 'come back from the dead' ***cough cough Finnick* *cough cough Cinna*,** review, and at the end say CrabPuffs. Okay? I need EVERYONE to review. This is supper important. I dont wanna ruin the story, but I need to know if you guys would mind or not. Tell me why you think it would be good, and/or why it would be bad. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! I need your opinion. Thanks guys._

_This chapter may seem a little... Iffy? But its not inapropriate. I promise. So dont flip and exit out. All the chapters MEAN something and are important. So read and enjoy._

_The song the inspired me with this chapter was Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. Its an amazing song and it totaly fits.(;_

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><p>6.<p>

I finally went up to bed around 9 o'clock. Sure, it was still early, but Katniss and I never were the party-stay-up-all-night types.

I walked into her room, removing my shirt and tossing it aside. I was slipping my pants off when I heard a cough. I turned and looked over at Katniss. Even though it was night, the full moon shown directly into her window, directing the light to the redness creeping onto her cheeks.

I sighed, "Katniss, from what I remember, I used to sleep like this all the time." then I let my pants fall to the ground.

Katniss squirmed uncomfortably as I walked towards her, kicking my pants to the side. I smiled, because I knew she couldn't see it, and I loved that 4 years after our first Hunger Game, she's still uncomfortable with nudity. Yeah, I was going to enjoy these next few minuets.

I smirked as I threw the covers off and slid into bed, pulling her tight against me. She gasped as her eyes went wide, her fingers brushing over my chest.

I was still trying to figure out why she had gasped when her fingers slid over sensitive skin, causing me to shiver. I looked down at her small face in front of my chest.

Her eyes were trained on my chest, her fingers tracing over the 'new skin' the rebels gave me back in 13.

I frowned as I watched her eyebrows furrow, and somehow I knew she was thinking, _How can_ _something_ _that_ _used to be so beautiful and safe be horrid and unwelcoming?_  
>I had a sudden urge to put my shirt back on, but this was the real me. She should know I'm not just the boy with the bread anymore.<p>

"It's bad, I know. But I wanted you to see who I really am. The scars are new, and they'll last forever, but it's a marking of what I've been through. No matter how ugly it is, it's apart of me now." I finished talking; whispering would be a more accurate term. Her eyes looked up at me, searching my face for another explanation.

That's one reason I knew I once loved her, and still do. I could read her facial expressions better then I could read anyone else's, let alone my own.

Her small arm reached up to let her fingers brush against my face, and I couldn't help but lean into her cupped hand. She looked at me with those beautiful, strong gray eyes. Then she sat up. And without warning, took her shirt off.

I quickly turned my head to the side, not wanting to be disrespectful. _Did she really just take her shirt off?_

I heard a loud sigh, "Peeta, I have a bra on."

Slowly, I looked at her to see her annoyed eyes staring down at me. I gave her an apologetic smile, and she seemed to give me a smile back, but it disappeared as soon as it came.

"Look," she said, taking my hand and laying it on her stomach, "I have the scars, too."  
>She was right, she did have scars. Some were worse then mine, others weren't.<p>

I slowly traced them with my fingers. I refused to touch her chest, so I kept my hands on her stomach. Eventually, she lied down. I started to pull my hands away when she grabbed them and laid them back on her stomach. I didn't question her actions, because I knew that she just wanted some affection from someone.

She stopped my hands after a while, then propped her self up on her left elbow, and laid me down flat with her right hand. She traced my scars, from the ones starting by the waist band of my boxers to the scars touching my neck.

"If these scars are on a mission to make you ugly, then we might as well be ugly together." I looked over at her smiling face, and couldn't help but smile too. It was probably the cheesiest statement I've ever heard, but it came from Katniss, and knowing her, it most likely took 10 minuets to come up with that statement.

"Your scars make you look even more beautiful..."

Oh crap. Did I really just let that slip? Oh jeeze... Now she's gonna think I'm a total creep.

I quickly turned my head away from her, trying to hide my blushing face. I didn't try to mumble any justification, what I said I meant, but I just didn't think I would ever tell her she was beautiful. I'm not saying she isn't, because, believe me, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. But every time I try to let something like that slip, the memories come back. The ones of her holding a knife to my throat. The ones of her dropping the bombs on District 12. The ones that make me seam like I love her less, even when the love is clawing to come out. The ones that try to make me believe she's a monster. The ones that are lies that the Capitol planted into my head.

I closed my eyes tightly, praying that nothing would take over me. I wanted today to be episode free. Today had to be a special day.

Katniss danced her fingers gently across my shoulder, and I swallowed down the moan prying at my lips. It was amazing that after two Hunger Games, one kidnap that tempered with memories, and one war later, she still had the same effect on me. How it's possible, I'll never know, but her touch is enough to light the fire inside of me.

Her hand pulled on my arm, and I turned to look at her face, "Thank you, Peeta."

I rose my eyebrow at her. "What for?"

"Everything." She leaned her head in, and my stomach dropped down to my toes. Her light, smooth lips planted a kiss on my cheek, right under my left eye. The electric shock ran down my spin, all the way to the tips of my toes and back to the area her lips touched.

When she pulled away, her lips barley ghosted the spot she'd just kissed. I enjoyed the light tickle of her breath, but all too soon she pulled back, flipping her body over away from me. I guess she just expected for me to just go to sleep, but I saw the hesitation, the pained look in her eyes, the gentle and quiet tear rolling down her cheek.

I scooted closer and placed my left arm over her side, pulling her close, sliding my right arm under my head. She sniffled lightly and rapped her arms around mine, trying to pull me closer.

"Shh..." I cooed, "It's gonna be alright, Kat."

She sniffled again, her shoulders shuddering with quiet sobs.

This was for Prim... I knew it was. She missed her so much. All of this today probably just shook up bad memories of all the things that happened. How could I be so stupid? Of course I made it worse. As it is she can't go a day without thinking about Prim, and I just had to go and make it worse. _Stupid_. _Stupid_. _Stupid_.

"I miss her, Peeta." Katniss whispered, turning over gently in my arms, looking me directly in the eyes.

Her beautiful gray eyes were puffy, blood shot and filled with tears. It broke my heart to see her like this, but I couldn't fix it; no one could.

"I know, Katniss." I found the courage deep inside of me and yanked it to the top. I leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"I miss her, too." I mumbled to her forehead, kissing it again, "So much."

After hours of holding this broken girl, we finally let the darkness pull us under into an un-known world, where nightmares of hurt and death await.

But even in my dreams, the words said before sleep took over pulled at a memory from somewhere in my head, I just couldn't figure out what memory it was.

Katniss was just falling asleep, when I heard her mumble into my chest, "Stay with me."

I didn't know how I knew what to say, but I didn't hesitate to reply.

"Always."

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><p><em>AN: I hoped you guys liked it! Next chapter should be comming out soon. BUT I NEED YOU GUYS TO REVIEW WITH THE POLL UP TOP! PLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEE? Thanks.(: Oh, and lets set a personal goal to get close (within a 10 point range) to 100 reviews by chapter 10!(:_


	7. Ours

_A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait. Ive been lazy. Haha. Anyways. I might_ have the next chapter up tomorrow... But if i dont... I have a perfectly good excuse... ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!(: So dont kill me if its not up. My best friend got me this wicked AWESOME T-Shirt that says District 12 Tribute.. Gotta love her.(:

_SO heres chapter 7! This chapter is important- not saying some of them arnt, cause they all are- but its short. The next one will be longer. Promise.(:_

_The song that inspired this chapter was Ours by Taylor Swift. I dont know why. But it did. It made me want to write more everytime I listened to it._

_The last chapter I asked you guys to tell me if you wanted old Characters back in the story, and Ive desided NOT to. Personable, a reviewer, made a good argument; good enough to convince me not to. It would be hard explaining there escaped death, and even harder for making it relevant to the story. Sorry to all you Finnick lovers._

_If you guys have any suggestions or comments or even idea for the story, LEAVE A REVIEW! Or inbox me.(:_

_So, heres Chapter 7!_

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><p>It was a nice day. The wind was blowing gently; the sun was beating down on my bare shoulders... Yes, I, Katniss Everdeen, was wearing a tank top; outside. Even I was surprised at this unusual action.<p>

I was sitting on the grass outside of Peeta's and my own house, just behind the side walk where the grass was the softest, the cushioniest. Peeta was outside in my garden, taking out the Primroses that died and putting in new, still blossoming ones. Did I mention he was shirtless? Because he was. And I know we used to sleep together and he'd always be shirtless, but his muscles were even _bigger_, if that was possible. The sweat on his upper body was catching the sunlight so damn _perfectly_, defining his gorgeous muscles even more. And what it would feel like to have his strong hands on my hips, slowly sliding under my shirt. His warm breath tickling my neck as he kisses it slowly...

Wow.

This was another shocker. For one, I don't swoon over guys. Ever. This dyer urge to go up and just touch him was totally new to me, but I somehow liked it. And since when do I adore Peeta so much?

"Forever. You just choose to ignore It." that little voice in the back of my head said with pity. "Shut up, you damn conscious." I responded, glaring at nowhere in particular.  
>"I'm not your conscious, Katniss." said a small voice. I whipped my head to my left. Prim was sitting there in the same cloths she died in. I cringed at the image of her death.<p>

"I'm guessing this isn't really happening then."

Prim giggled, and then gently shook her head.  
>"For one, in reality, you would never go anywhere with just a tank and shorts on. And for two, I heard your thoughts about Peeta. One word: Ew." I felt my dream face heat up. <em>She heard all that? Jeeze...<em> _Way_ _to_ _scar_ _her_, _Katniss_.

Then I remembered she couldn't be scared anymore.

I frowned.

"Alright. Why are you here?" I asked, looking down at my little sister.

"Wha? A little girl can't come and visit her big sister?" I gave her a look, "Not without reason, no. Remember last time?"

She smiled at me. I missed that smile, so much. It felt like forever since I've seen that smile, or that I've held her. But I knew I couldn't ever again.

And it was eating me alive.

I smiled gently back at her, and she turned back to look at Peeta, so I looked at him again, too.

"You need him, Katniss."  
>I whipped my head around and looked at the very courageous little girl.<br>She rolled her blue eyes at me, "Don't deny it. You _need_him, whether you're going to admit it or not. He's your everything."

I sighed and looked back at the working boy, wishing I could admit it. But _boy_ seemed to be a huge understatement. Peeta, this male, was a _man_, and he has been ever since the first moment he showed curtsey to me that one day in the freezing rain, so very many years ago.

"I do need him. I just don't know how to tell him. I can't just jump into it, and be all 'I need you, so damned much. Pass the bread, please.' I mean, I need to work up to it, and I

know that. But where do I start?"

Prim kept her eyes trained on Peeta, watching intensely, thinking hard while I was speaking. When I finished, she smiled lightly, then looked at me.

"Why not just start with forgiving him?"

This surprised me. How_ did she know about this_?

But it was true... I was angry with Peeta. Why didn't he ever call? Not that I ever answered the phone... But he could've written me a letter. Not that I ever read any mail...  
>Why didn't he ever come see me?<p>

It hit me like that wave that kept crashing against the shore of the beach in the Arena during the Quarter Quell; hard and unforgiving.  
>It was <em>my<em> _fault_. He could've written. He could've called. He could've left 13 when I did. But he didn't. He didn't because he wanted to get better, for me. I couldn't be 100% positive, but the tugging in my gut told me it was real.

"And it is. He didn't want you to see him at constant battle with himself. He wanted to be what you need again."

I looked down at Prim. Of course she knew. She probably visited Peetas dreams, too.

"And I do. All the time. Actually, I'm going there next."  
>I gave her my best crazy look.<br>She giggled, "Hey, it's a _dream_, Katniss. I can hear your thoughts, so don't give me that crazy look."

I smiled, pulling her in for a hug. "I miss you, Little Duck." I kissed her head gently, trying to savor having her with me.

"I know," she slowly got up from my grasp and looked down at me, "but I have to go now. Peeta waits." I smiled at her joke, then after kissing my three fingers, I held them out to her. She smiled and returned the gesture, and then turned and began walking away.  
>She turned back after walking a few yards saying, "Forgive him, Katniss. It'll do wonders. It's okay to love him again. I know the scars are deep, but that's what makes love more powerful: the history, the friendship. It makes it all worth the pain." Her form turned white with the rest of my dream.<p>

I woke up where I fell asleep, Peetas arms still rapped around my waist. The moon was still high and mighty in the dark night sky, casting shadows on a beautiful mans face. I smiled at Peeta, knowing he couldn't see. He looked so _young_, so innocent. He looked like the man I fell in love with.

It had been about a week since the annual reminder of the Reaping. Peeta has slept with me every day since, refusing to sleep in his own bed, and any other bed I offered.

I used my free hand to push the hair on his forehead back, softly brushing my lips above his left eye. I dropped the hair and smoothed it back out, mumbling, "I forgive you, Peeta. And I'm sorry."

He moaned tiredly and pulled tighter on my waist, pulling me in closer. Resisting the urge to giggle, I kissed the tip of his nose, and then snuggled close.

"I need you." I whispered, resting my hands on his bare chest.

"That's good."  
>I snapped my head up to look directly into tiers struck blue eyes. I felt all the blood in my body run to my cheeks. <em>Oh<em> _jeeze_. _He_ _HEARD_.

"I mean it's good to finally hear you say it." he mumbled, his grip on my waist tightening, his lips brushing against the top of my head.

"I.. Uh-I was.. Uh.. Whe- Uh.." I stumbled horribly with my words, trying to force the right ones out, but they wouldn't come.

"Shhh..." Peeta said, using his left hand to move the hair from my face, "It's okay. Go to sleep."

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to force the horrifying moment from my head. How embarrassing was that? Ugh...

I flipped over in Peetas arms gently, feeling sleep tug at my eyes. It was taking over almost too quickly.

Feeling the sleep begin to dominate, I vaguely heard Peeta say into my ear, "I need you, too."

But I heard it, I know I did; and I went to sleep with a smile on my face, and the most beautiful melody playing in my head with the words of that man.

_I_ _need_ _you_, _too_.

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><p><em>AN: SO theres Chapter 7! I hope you guys liked it! It was short, I know. But it didnt need alot of commentary. LEAVE A REVIEW!_


	8. I'd Come For You

_A/N: Im not gonna give you guys any excuses, but I am sorry this is comming out so late._

_This is by far the LONGEST chapter yet. It was 3,600 words without this awesome commentary.(; So I hope it's good._

_SHOUT-OUTS!(:_

_First, to every one who wished me a happy birthday, THANK YOU!(:_

_Second, to RoxyRox29, Happy early Birthday! I hope this chapter is worthy enough on your Birthday week!(:_

_AND last but never least, to , a reader who is an amazing writer, too. She read over this chapter for me and gave me some great ideas. You guys should REALLY go check out her storys. They are AMAZING!(:_

_This chapter was inspired by the song I'd Come For You by Nickelback. It is an amazing song, and you guys need to go check it out.(:_

_I present, _

_CHAPTER 8!(:_

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><p>A month. A full, glories, <em>month<em>. That's how long since Peeta said he needed me too. We've been just about inseparable since. Of course, we'd go out and do our own things during the day- when we wanted to- then we'd come home to my house and protect each other from _some_nightmares, but one or two would always slip into our heads and haunt us; Peeta was there to hold me, and I was there to hold him. We then did the same routine the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Soon it just became a normal process for us.

It wasn't much, but Dr. Aurelius suggested starting out with a little, then building on it, keeping a daily schedule. Peeta and I were trying the best to do everything he said- after a few months of neglecting him- because we finally decided he knew best. So I hunt, Peeta bakes, Haymitch drinks himself silly, and raises geese when he drinks his- and our- supply dry. Everyone seemed happy. We seemed to be moving on brilliantly.

Until now.

I was sitting on the couch in my living room, waiting for Peeta to get back from his day at the new bakery- they had just finished it a week ago- so we could eat dinner. But he didn't show up.  
>It was getting later and later, and he still hadn't come home yet. It was a few hours past his usual time to come home.<p>

_Breathe, Katniss. Just breathe. He probably just got held up on an order_.

I took a few more breaths and flipped on the TV. I flipped to the news and listened only half-heartedly to the lady talk about the findings deep under Snows old mansion. People had found old books and writings about this thing called religion. I already knew that in the time before Panam, the people of North America believed in this God, and they would pray and worship him, and he would bless his people and protect them. The lady also mentioned that they would be setting up churches, Catholic churches. Apparently, it was one of the original religions, according to the books they had found. _Wow_, I thought, _Peeta would love this_. Then I remembered what I was waiting for. I turned and looked at the clock next to me.

It was 10.

The bakery closes at 7.

I did the only thing I knew how to do. I panicked.

_What_ _happened? Where did he go? Is he hurt? Does he need help? Where is he?_

Breathing hard, I ran next door to Peetas house to make sure he wasn't there, because I was ready to sprint into the Justice Building to find the Mayer and make him shut the District down.  
>Running up to the front door, I yanked on the door knob.<p>

Locked. Damn.

I ran around to the back and yanked on that door knob.

Locked, too. "Damn." I mumbled.  
>And that's when I heard the crash from inside the house.<br>"Peeta!" I yelled, banging on the door. "Peeta! Are you in there? Peeta!"

I backed up and took in a deep breath, raising my foot and kicking the door open. The lock popped and fell onto the floor with a loud, "_Crash_!"

"Peeta!" I yelled, pushing open the door. "Peeta, wher-" I stopped short when I saw his house.  
>The first thing that caught my eyes were the broken items all over the floor; glass, wood, plastic.<br>I felt my heart drop, thinking that someone had broken in. But then I saw the paintings all over the walls. They were beautiful, but so horrible.

Peeta had painted the first games on his living room walls. The paint looked like it had dripped, mixing the colors, but the pictures were still clear.

Cato thrusting his sword into a tribute.  
>Rue perched up on a tree, music notes rising from her lips.<br>Glimmer fumbling with _my_ bow and arrows.  
>Foxface taking the berries and cheese we had left in the cave.<br>The first girl I heard die the 2nd morning, the spear in her chest.  
>Rue when she died, the flowers surrounding her.<p>

And me, I was everywhere.

Staring in horror while Cato thrusts his weapon.  
>On the ground when Rue was in the trees.<br>In the tree above Glimmer, sawing at the Tracker Jacker nest.  
>Behind Foxface, shooting a rabbit.<br>In the tree behind the girl, watching with pain in my eyes.  
>Walking away from Rue, a tear rolling down my cheek.<br>I couldn't believe the beauty of it all, but it brought back so much pain.

I turned and looked at all the paint, shaking my head. All these paintings and no Peeta.  
>Walking down the hall, there was more paintings, but I couldn't see from the lack of light.<br>I walked slowly to the master bed room. There was a small light coming from the crack in the door. I pushed it open gently, hoping I would find Peeta on the bed, or just somewhere in the room.

But yet again, I was wrong.

This room was filled with paintings of the Quarter Quell, with pictures of Finnick and Johanna and Beete and Wires decorated the walls. This paint was more wet then the first. The colors dripped and slid, mixing into gaudy colors. Just like the previous rooms, there were broken items covering the floor.

Looking back at the paintings, I studied Peetas details that weren't covered by the mixing colors; like Finnicks' defined muscles, the smirk on Johannas' face, the blood covering the three additions to our allies group after they found us on the beach, Mags kissing a surprised Finnick.  
>I looked around the room, tears threatening to fall when something caught my eye. The master bed was pushed into the center of the room. I frowned and started to approach it, and then I heard a crash from upstairs.<p>

Running up the steps, I was still mumbling Peetas name, wishing he would just stay put. The walls were all painted, but with just sloppy strokes of a brush. Some areas were splattered and swirled, others were curvy and sharp.

When I quietly got to the top of the stairs, I saw that Peetas own bedroom door was wide open the light streaming out into the hall. I walked towards it, using my hunting instincts to sense another presence in the room, yet never making a sound. I finally stopped and just stood in front of the door, looking in.

Peeta was at the back wall, painting details slowly but carelessly. I watched him in silence, releasing the breath I hadn't known I have been holding. But I caught it just as fast as soon as I saw the paintings.

Peeta whipped his head around and looked at me, panic creeping onto his flushed face. "Katniss, I-"

I put my hand up to silence him as I looked around the room, "Peeta... How could you paint such horrible things?"

"Katniss, hear me out." he pleaded, running his hands through his hair. His hair. It was covered with paint, and the faded coloring on his hands proved he's been running his hands through his hair more than usual. His jeans were covered with layers and layers of paint, and as for his shirt- well, there wasn't one on his chest. It was completely and totally bare, like when we sleep, but this time it was covered with paint; as were his feet, his arms, his neck and his feet.

"Have you been here all day, painting? Did you even go to work at all today?" I asked, my motherly instincts kicking in to hide the panic and pain in my voice.  
>"Katniss," Suddenly Peetas hands were on my shoulders, his eyes bearing into my own.<br>"Breathe."

"Breathe? Look around the room, Peeta! And you want me to breathe? You're lucky my hand isn't making its mark on your face!"

Peetas hands slid down my arms, dropping to his side in defeat. His eyes left mine, and took absolute interest in his feet.

How could he do this to me? He probably guessed I'd never see any of it, but still. For anyone to even have these images appalled me, but that was hypocritical. I have these images, too; they haunt me.

"The nightmares, Katniss... Their so bad... I woke up a bit when you left to go hunting, and just knowing you weren't there made them come..." he mumbled quietly.  
>He waved his hand around the room, "This is what I've been doing all day. I just want the visions to stop, Kat. I want them to stop so badly. I didn't want to see the ones we've lost. This helps... Somewhat."<p>

I couldn't do anything but watch him while he talked. My eyes were glued to the sorrow on his face. My mind was trying to rap around what he was saying. I heard every word that passed his slightly chapped lips, but I just didn't understand.  
>"It started out as an episode. It went away, but I didn't want to stop. The images were burned into the back of my mind. Some of the paintings are messed up because I keep shaking..."<br>Well, I guess that was my explanation.

I looked around at the paintings again, my heart rising into my throat. They were so _beautiful_, but so incredibly _horrible_.

Finnick, poor sweet Finnick, was on the ground with mutations pulling at his limbs.  
>Boggs was lying down in a blood pool, his legs missing, the Hulu outstretched in his arms.<br>Coin with the arrow I had shot in her chest.  
>Snow looking joyful, his hands tied behind his back, on his knees; blood dripping from his lips.<br>Johanna inside of a tank of water, lightning striving through the water, her face scrunched in pain, her mouth opened into a scream.

Crying hard, I looked at the picture of my little sister, my poor Prim, her body licked with flames.

It was so horrible, so evil. I couldn't help but just stand there and cry. I looked over the pictures again, and then I saw the big sheet covering the back wall. I began to slowly walk towards the wall, curiosity taking the best of me. But I couldn't reach it, because Peeta jumped in front of me, covering the wall.

"No! No, Katniss! Don't come any closer." he begged, putting his arms out to the side to block me from getting to the sheet.

"Peeta, move." I said calmly, touching his arm.  
>"No!" he yelled, shying away from my touch.<br>"Peeta," I said more sternly, "Move."

He dropped his head and put his arms back down to his sides, giving me the permission to push past him and remove the sheet.  
>I reached up and yanked it down, not caring about the loud rip I heard.<p>

I gasped loudly when seeing it, my hand flying to cover my mouth. Peeta made a small whimper behind me, but I didn't dare look at him, nor could I. My eyes were glued to the picture.  
>It was of Peeta and I. He was in his hospital gown, his face hollow. I was in my normal cloths from District 13, relief and shock clearly visible on my face. But the worst part, was Peetas hands wrapped around my throat, the crazed look on his face.<p>

"Peeta..." I say, my voice cracking as I whipped my head around to look at him. But he wasn't where I thought he was. He was in the corner with his hands holding his head on his knees.  
>I walked over to him slowly, not knowing if this would turn into an episode or not. Bending down slowly, I put my hand gently onto Peetas upper arm.<p>

"I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm so sorry. I just didn't want to see it anymore and I thought it would be best if I painted it, but it only made it worse. I can't believe- I just- I'm so, so sorry, Katniss. So sorry." he mumbled, shaking his head and sniffling, still not looking at me. And I was glad, because I felt the tears on my cheeks, the burning of the skin on my neck where his fingers locked around my throat. I gently touched it, knowing there were still purple marks from that very day.

He finally looked up when I didn't say anything. His face dropped even farther when he saw my fingers brushing over my neck. He began to cry harder, tears quickly rolling down his cheeks, sobs escaping his lips. It wasn't the way a man would cry, and it wasn't the way a boy would cry. He was crying quietly, sobs still slipped, but when they did they were almost silent.

"Oh god, Katniss, I'm so sorry. I won't ever forgive myself for what happened that day. I never meant anything I said, you know, it was the high jacking talking. I wouldn't ever... I could never... The thought of hurting you just absolutely freaking kills me..."

I stared at his face; confused, shocked, relieved. But I couldn't help but smile through my tears. He cared. Prim was right. He really, _really_ cares. Joy was mixing with all the pain I held inside of me.  
>Peetas face was teary, and sobs were escaping more often. His head was still ducked into his knees and his fingers clutching his hair. He looked so upset, I did the only thing that came to my mind, the only thing I wanted to do. I pulled his head gently from his knees, watching confusion wash over his face, and removing his hands from his hair. I did the one thing I never thought I would do again.<p>

I kissed him.

I kissed him slowly. I kissed him gently. I kissed him with more passion I even knew I had.  
>His lips were chapped slightly, his hands a bit shaky as they threaded through my hair, but the passion was still there and even seemed to grow deeper as we continued to kiss. It felt amazing. It was perfect. I missed his lips <em>so<em> _much_.  
>I started out leaning over, but Peeta moved onto his knees and deepened the kiss. I stopped him before it could go too far, and when I did, he moaned and pulled gently on my neck.<p>

"No, Peeta. Not now..." I whisper, panting and pulling away. He nodded and looked down at the ground again. "But you know... You have paint all in your hair..." I say, giggling and reaching up to pick some of it out. He looked up at me, smiling, really smiling.  
>He moved his arms to my waist and wrapped them around, gently kissing my neck.<br>"I needed that. I missed your lips so much." he mumbled in my ear.  
>"Well maybe you should revisit them." I giggle, grabbing a hold of his shoulders to make him face me again.<p>

He smiled again and took a hold of my hands. "Of course... But I want to show you something first."  
>"What?" I asked, dipping my eye brows in confusion.<br>Peeta smiled and licked his lips, making my heart skip a beat. "Come on," he said, tugging on my hand, "I'll show you."

Peeta POV:  
>I turned around and looked at Katniss, her eye brows dipped adorably in confusion. I wanted to show her this. She'll love it.<p>

I still couldn't believe she kissed me, actually _kissed_ me. I felt just as giddy as the first time she had kissed me. It was amazing. She was so confidant with it... She amazes me every day.  
>I lead her into a room down the hall from my own, smiling and flicking on the light. I pulled her in and watched her expression change from puzzled to awe. I smiled even more and admired my work.<p>

Every image was of Katniss and I. Kissing, sleeping, kissing, cuddling, kissing, hugging, kissing. And did I mention kissing? We seemed to do a lot of that when the only thing we had to worry about was our own survival.

She slowly moved around the room, looking at each of the eight paintings, smiling and sighing with each one. Taking her time, she examined each one, occasionally reaching up and touching them. I smiled at her cute gestures, shoving my hands in my pockets. She stopped at the back wall, my favorite one. It was of our first kiss. My leg was bloody and filled with puss; her hair was falling out of her braid, the rain seeping through the roof of the cave. It was all beautiful, the best moment of my life- no matter how crappy and beat up we look.

Katniss turned and smiled at me with tears in her eyes. "They're all beautiful, Peeta."  
>"Not as beautiful as the real moment, or the girl I shared them with." I say, rocking back and forth and smiling shyly. Katniss blushed deeply, smiling and whipping a tear from her cheek.<br>She slowly walked towards me, outstretching her arms. I smiled and slid my own arms around her small waist. She hugged me tightly, clutching my shirt lightly in the back.

I couldn't help but smile, gently putting my chin on top of her head. This is how it should've been all last year. Nothing should've changed when I was captured by the Capitol. I should've been able to come back and be with my Katniss; to be able to kiss her, hug her, touch her and not freak out, and make her feel special, because she is special. She's the only girl I've ever loved. I still get the episodes, but they're not as bad. I can tell when their real or not. Today, I couldn't get out of it. The vision took over me, and I winded up in my house with paint on my walls. I was only painting Rue when I came too, but I didn't want to not finish. I _had_to get rid of the images. I was hoping this would help, and I guess it did. I feel lighter, like everything that was weighing me down is suddenly gone, and I know Katniss being here helped.

"Hey, Kat?" I ask, remembering something she might've saw and liked.  
>"Yeah, Peeta?"<br>"Did you see the painting under the master bed downstairs?"

There was a slight pause before she responded, slowly.

"I was about to look at it when I heard a crash."

I blushed. I was painting, and I wasn't paying attention to where my elbow was. It pushed a very expensive lamp onto the floor, shattering it into millions of pieces.  
>"Well, I guess we better go see it then." I say, taking her arm in my hand and dragging her over to the stair case. She giggled as I skipped two steps running down the stairs.<p>

"Try to keep up." I say, feeling her lag behind me. She laughed and said something close to "I'm trying."

We finally got to the master bed room, and I ran in and stood in front of the king-size bed. Katniss walked in and smiled at me, crossing her arms, "Alright, let's see it."  
>I smiled and pushed the bed out of the way, careful not to scratch the paint.<p>

Katniss gasped and smiled, looking down at my painting.  
>This painting was not new. It wasn't fresh. I painted this painting weeks ago. I painted this the night she told me she should've died in the Hunger Games. I was so angry, so upset; I came home and painted this, hoping to one day show her.<p>

"Oh, Peeta." she said, covering her full lips with her fingers. She then smiled up at me, reaching out her arms, "Come here."

I walked over and slid my left arms around her waist, watching her examine the picture.  
>I painted the night in the Quarter Quell, when I gave Katniss my locket to show her I was willing to- and was planning on- giving my life for her.<p>

The night we kissed like there was no tomorrow, when she somehow winded up on top of me. The night I felt my love for her deepen.

The night I felt her fire burning with my own.

The beach was in the background, but the kiss was the main focus. It wasn't when everything was getting too far, but when we first kissed. My right hand was holding her neck, and her hands were holding my shoulders. The locket was clutched in her hands, and her pearl, the one I gave her, was in her lap. It wasn't exactly a happier time, but it's as close as we ever got.

Katniss slid her left hand over my right shoulder, pulling me back to reality. Hugging, she smiled up at me, truly smiled. And I didn't hesitate to smile back at her.

"So when do I get my kiss?" I asked, gently moving her hair out of her eyes.

Katniss smirked, "When you have the back bone to take it."

I smiled and shook my head, my blond curls falling into my eyes. She looked at my hair, mumbling about a haircut. I smiled at her concern for my hair, "Let's not talk about that now."  
>I slid my right hand up to mover her side bangs out of her eyes, and then slid both my hands behind her neck, pulling her in.<p>

Her breath tickles my lips just barley, and I tease her with a small peck to her lips, moaning lightly.  
>"After all this time, you <em>still<em> don't know the affect you have on people. Or the affect you have on me."  
>She giggles at my comment, making me smile and laugh, too. I love it when she giggles.<p>

My lips landed gently onto hers, her hands moving to my elbows. She kissed me harder, passion dripping with all the love and affection we shared just in this one kiss.

And it was perfect.

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><p><em>AN: Love it? Hate it? REVIEWWW. REVIEWWWW. PLEASE?_


	9. Someday

_A/N: Before any of you go and try to murder me for not updating sooner, I have a perfectly good reason. I've had dance competitions, Theater practice, and not to mention homeowork. You all are lucky I'm still alive._

_So.. I was being smart, and in the last chapter... I didnt mention the girls name who was helping me with it... Smart, right? ANYWAYS, her name is and she is AMAZING. Go check out her storys.(: ~ Im giving a shout out to one of me bestest_ _friends, , because I can. I love her to death and she is my insperation. So leave a comment with your thanks, because with out her, there wouldnt have been this story._

_Guess what guys? I have every chapter from here to chapter 20 planed out. 20 CHAPTERS! Whooooohoooooo! But I wont post unless I get more reviews. Think we can get 100 by the next chapter? I HOPE SO! And if we reach our goal... I might consider a sequal... (;_

_The song insperation was Someday by Nickelback. It fits almost too perfectly for this chapter. This chapter was hard to write because of the plot line... I couldnt find the perfect way to make it happen the way i had planned, so I hope you like it._

_WITHOUT ANYMORE STUPID COMMENTS... I GIVE YOU... CHAPTER 9!_

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><p>9.<p>

I shoved my chilly hands into my pockets as I walked down the road that goes to and from the Victors Village with Katniss. It was a bitter cold winter day, but with her arm wrapped around my left one, and her head on my shoulder, I felt warmth on every inch of my body. Except my hands, which were shaking with excitement and- quite frankly- refusing to stay warm.

I smiled and looked down at Katniss' face. Her cheeks were rosy due to the cold air and the gentle snow falling from the sky. It was only the beginning of December, but the temperature dropped a little more every day. Yet, I was a thankful for this because Katniss looked more than adorable all bundled up.

I smiled and turned my attention back to the road. It's been just a little over a month since we had finally talked about what the Capitol had done to me, and ever since that night, we've been together almost every second. She comes to the bakery with me because the snow has been keeping her game away, and when it seems to heat up outside a bit, I go hunting with her, even when she says I don't have to. Every time it happens, I say the same thing to her. "Katniss, I had to go almost a year without you. I missed touching you, I missed your voice, I missed your snarls," I say, which of course, earns me a glair, but I always pull her close and brush her cheek. "I missed every little thing about you, and now that I finally have you, I'm going to put you somewhere where you can't get hurt." She always smiles when I say that, kissing my face and giggling at the memory of our interviews after our first games. We go on walks everyday to see the progress the District has been making, how the re-building is doing.

We reached the square, and I looked around at the new buildings. Along with the bakery, most of the old shops are built up again on top of their old locations. The market was up and running next to the bakery, the butcher next to the market, the blacksmith shop next to the butchers, and the justice building in the middle. The shops on the opposite side of the square and on the left side of the bakery were still mostly being built, but the candy shop was almost complete, immediately to the left of the bakery.

I smiled and tugged on Katniss' hand, pulling her towards the Candy Shop. Other then the painters outside, the shop was complete.

We walked up to the store and stopped outside the door. "You are all doing a wonderful job. It looks marvelous." I say, smiling up at the two men who I knew used to be Gales old mining crew, knowing Katniss would appreciate it. She was a little upset when Gale had to leave a month and a half ago, but he promised he would be back when his company finished the building to which he would be running.

Gale and I never agreed on anything, and it's no secret he hates me for being with Katniss, but the day he left Katniss didn't feel well, so I offered to walk him to the station. She was gracious for it, but he wasn't. As soon as her front door closed, he snarled at me and said, "I don't need you to walk me to the train station. I know the way around my own District." I sighed and shook my head, slowly beginning to walk down the road, "I'm just trying to be nice, Gale." He didn't respond. We walked to the train station in silence, and I thought about what I would need from the market for cheese bread, and eventually we reached the platform. I sighed and turned to look at the man I used to hate. Gale sighed, turning to me, "Look, Peeta. We've never been on the same terms before, and I'm sorry for being so stubborn and not letting a friendship form. Now, I know this probably doesn't sound like me at all, but it's time I stop acting like a child and start acting like a man." I couldn't help but stare ahead of me, dumbfounded. Of course, I didn't let it show, I just had a blank look on my face, but the fact that he was apologizing surprised me. "I'm sorry I ruined your long life with Katniss." I said, glancing at him. He scoffed, "Like she'd ever agree. She would've fought me to the death about marriage and kids. I'm surprised she even lets you stay with her." I nodded my head. I knew Katniss never wanted to get married, or to have kids. She knew I wanted children badly. "I think it surprises us all." I said, chuckling along with Gale. Just then the train pulled up, so Gale turned to me and stretched out his hand. "Take care of her, Mellark. I'll be back in a few months to make sure you are." I shook his hand and laughed. "Don't you worry about us, Hawthorn. We'll be just fine. Have a safe trip." That day when I went home, I didn't tell Katniss what had occurred.

Katniss tugged me into the candy shop and smiled at the nice lady who has worked here for as long as I could remember, Kyla. I always thought of her name as beautiful. A kyla was a rare flower that was almost imposable to paint. There were so many colors in this one plant; I couldn't ever capture it with my brush.

Kyla was stocking up the drawers and display counters with dozens of different candies from a box. She smiled at us graciously, obviously happy to be having customers already.

"What can I get for you two?" she asked, putting down the now empty box and whipping her shaky hands on her apron.

"Chocolate, for the lady, and peppermints, please." I say, sliding my arm around Katniss. She smiled up at me then hid her face in the crook of my jacket between my arm and my torso. She has done this multiple times before. It's her way of showing thanks, and sometimes affection. She claims it's because she adores how I smell like the ingredients I use to bake in the mornings, but I can read between the lines. She needs me just as much as I need her.

Kyla handed me the bag with the candies, and I began to reach for my wallet when she put her hand up, motioning me to stop. "No charge. I have too much candy anyways." she says, winking at me. "Thank you, Kyla." I say, smiling back to her as I lead Katniss out the door. She waves it off like it was no big deal, and to her it probably wasn't. Kyla was my father's friends that he grew up with, just like Ms. Everdeen. When my family passed, I knew Kyla would be hurt, too. She feels for me, I guess. Kyla's family died in the bombings, just like my own. Her daughters and son were kind, and still young. They were around Prim's age, so when I was told they had died, I felt that longing I get when it comes to kids get worse. It was no secret that I wanted kids, but I was in no way going to push Katniss into that- we had just barley gotten back together, and I don't think she'd want kids, even if the Hunger Games are ended.

I love children, and I had a fondness for Kyla's kids because they were always so kind to me and always around. My dad and mother liked to have them over at least once every few weeks, and I would usually stay with the little ones because I adored them. I still couldn't believe they were gone, just like Prim.

I feel a small tug on my jacket and I look down to see Katniss starring worriedly up at me. I smile gently down at her, chuckling because it's just the most adorable thing when she was worried. Her eyebrows dip down while her eyes get wide, and her lips part slightly.  
>I lean in and kiss her slightly parted lips, smiling as they snap shut on mine, then laughing as she quickly turns away, blushing.<p>

I continue to laugh as I rapped my arms around her shoulders and kiss her burning cheek. I wiggle the candies in front of her face, nudging my nose at her jaw. "Want some?" I whisper, pulling her closer to me.

She pushes away from me gently, taking the candies then turning to glair at me. "Not in public." she mumbles, opening the bag and popping chocolate in.

I smirk at her comment. "Well, that's not what I meant, but your right. We should wait." I wink at her, shoving my hands into my pockets. Her face turns red again, and this time she slaps my shoulder. I laugh and pull her squirming body into my chest, kissing her head gently. "I was kidding." She huffs, rapping her arms around my waist and laying her left cheek on my chest, "Men." I can't help but smile in silent agreement.

We continue to walk around the circle, eating the candies and making small comments here and there. When we pass the Justice Building, Katniss mentions that she heard about the new findings in the Capitol, ones the involved the old tradition called religions. She said they were beginning to set up churches, mosques, and other worship places in the Districts. I look at her curiously, trying to figure out why she was telling this to me. When I ask, she shrugs, "I thought you would like to know..." I nod, raising an eye brow, questioning if she was going to go on. Her voice gets soft as she says, "They would have weddings in these churches... Big weddings, not like the small ones we have here. More like the ones they have in the Capitol." I smile gently at this comment, feeling my insides flutter joyfully. I look into her beautiful gray eyes as I say, "That sounds amazing." She turns her head slightly away from me, attempting to hide the blush creeping into her already pink cheeks.

Marrying Katniss. _Wow_, I think. Just the simple thought if her walking down the aisle in a beautiful white dress, her cheeks a beautiful pink because she can't help but smile at the way I can't take my eyes off of her. I can still imagine that day perfectly, just like I did when I was smaller. That was one thing the Capitol could never change because they never had pictures or videos, as well as those glorious nights on the train going from district to district, protecting each other from the horrors sleep brings.

I look back over at Katniss as she smiles and pops the last of the chocolate into her mouth, shoving the empty bag into her back pocket in a very Katniss-like way. I smile and slide my left hand into her right, swinging them back and forth like a child. She giggles- actually _giggles_-and reaches up to kiss my cheek.

"Peeta?" she asks after our first lap around the circle.  
>"Yes?"<br>"If I ask you a question, will you answer honestly?" she questions, saying the words very carefully.  
>"Of course. What is it?"<br>"Well... What is the real reason you came back here?" She looks up at me as we slow, and then eventually stops walking. I run a hand nervously through my freshly cut hair. _What if she didn't like the honest answer? _I sighed and looked over at the bakery. She deserves the truth.

"It's home... It's where I was raised. It's where my family died... I wouldn't want to be anywhere else because this is the only place I feel I fit it, where I feel some-what safe..." I say softly, still looking at that bakery. That damned bakery. As much as I loved being there, there are still times where I'm in the middle of doing something, and it sets me off. I don't get angry. I don't go into an episode. I stay in that same spot as my shoulders shake without any self-control, as I feel my insides ripping apart. If I'm standing, I fall to my knees and sob. I can't help it when I miss my family. My mother and I never really were close, but I still loved her. I see my father in everything I do. He taught me how to be a man. I see my brothers every time I see siblings together, laughing and goofing off. It kills me. I have Katniss and Haymitch now, and at times that's all I think I need. But I can't help missing my family. My family that I'll never get back.

"So... You didn't come back for me?"  
>That small voice brings me back to reality, and the girl it belongs to looks so heartbroken. I reach up to rub my cheek, and my glove comes back slippery with tears. I didn't relies I was crying.<br>"Katniss... When they gave me the option to come back, I still thought you hated me." I say, reaching out for her hand. She quickly moves it away, "I've never hated you... How could you think that?"

I stare at her for a moment, curious as to where this had come from. Haven't I told this to her before?  
>"Katniss," I sigh, rubbing my face, "Can we not do this right now?"<br>She slowly backs away from me, small painful step by small painful step. "I just wanted to know... I didn't know..." She stops and looks down at her shaky hands. "I didn't know you didn't care..." she says quietly, her words shaking and tears building in her eyes.  
>I sigh and roll my eyes, running a hand through my hair again. "Katniss, you're over reacting."<p>

She looks up at me with a mixture of shock and confusion. _Wow_... I think; _you've done it now, genius._  
>"Well, I'm sorry I care about our relationship."<p>

And just like that, Katniss is taking off down the dirt road, feet kicking up dust, tears streaming down her flawless face; while I stand in the same spot, voice caught in my throat, continuously repeating to myself;

_Peeta, you screwed up. Big time._

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><p><em><strong>Katniss POV.<strong>_

I kept running until I reached my house. I fumbled with the key in the lock, trying to see through all my tears. I shoved the key in the lock and ran inside, tripping over my own feet to get up the stairs. I didn't stop until I fell onto my bed, tears pouring from my eyes.

I didn't even know why I flipped. I didn't know why I was bawling. Peeta was just being honest. _But he said he didn't care about you. He meant it._  
>"Katniss!" There was a pounding at the door, Peetas voice creeping into my room, into my mind, taking over and making me cry harder.<br>"Katniss! Let me in, please!" he begged.  
>"Go away!" I yelled back.<br>"Katniss, I just want to explain!"  
>"I said go away!" I screamed, throwing a pillow at the door, "I never want to see you again!"<p>

I look around the strange room again, sighing as my mother looks at me, pushing my hair that came down from my up-dew behind my ear.

I didn't care to ask why she looked so upset. The wedding dress hanging from my upper body was the best answer possible. She smiles sadly at me, "Katniss, there is someone here to see you..." I nod and look at myself in the mirror, making sure my dress was in place. It hugged my upper body tightly, sleeveless, and flowed out elegantly from my waist and down to the floor.

I turned my head as the door opened, expecting to see Haymitch telling me to hurry. Instead, the last person I expected to come in is here. I look up at his sad face, his skin-and-bones body, his tux that he seemed to not want to wear, I look everywhere but the sad eyes looking over me.  
>"You know, I used to think I was the one who was going to be at the end of that isle..." he says sadly, letting out a defeated laugh.<br>I yet again avoid his eyes as I say, "Planes change." He smiled sadly, looking down at the floor and nodding. I looked down at the flowers in my hands, not knowing how to respond. I finally find the courage to look at his eyes, his sad eyes, as they lock with mine. "I messed up everything between us, and you don't know how much I regret it. I go everyday missing you. I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm so sorry."

My eyes find the flowers again and I swallow the lump building in my throat. I feel his warm, moist lips gently touch my forehead, his hand resting on the back of my head.

"I'm so, so sorry." he mumbles to my forehead, and then he turns without another word and walked quickly out the door.

"Wait!" I yell when I finally relies what was happening. "Wait!" I holler again, running to the closing door and throwing it open, "Peeta, wait!"

I stop dead in my tracks and turn to look at the people staring at me. All standing behind little pews, they looked at me with confusion. They were all dressed in dresses and suits; flowers decorated the walls and the ground of the church.

_Wait. How do I know this is a church?_

I felt my eyebrows dip in confusion as I turned and looked around for Peeta. I turned in a full circle before I stopped and looked at the end of the isle.

Standing there, full tux, hair smoothed back, was Gale. He had a look of shock and confusion on his face, too. There was a man standing next to him, dressed in a some-what dress, holding a book labeled _Bible._I looked down at my white dress, back to Gale, and back to my dress. That's when everything clicked.

"No..." I muttered, backing up. _"No." _

I woke up tossing and turning. As soon as my eyes opened, I saw the moon creeping slowly up the dark orange and yellow sky. Late day, six-ish, I assumed. I rub my eyes and let out a large yawn. _Did I really sleep 7 hours? _

I rubbed my forehead as I swung my feet over the side of the bed. The left side was cold, suggesting it hasn't been slept on. Peeta must have been at the bakery.

_Wait._

Peeta...

I sprung up and took two steps to cross the large room. I can't believe I had forgotten about Peeta and the fight we had... That nightmare was so horrible; I wish he could've been there to comfort me.

I throw open my bedroom door and trip over the body laying there. His blond hair was in disarray across his forehead, his frightened blue eyes staring up at me. I, inconveniently, ended up lying right on top of him. I looked into his deep blue eyes. They were sad, relieved, and still a bit frightened. I smiled at his obvious innocence. He looked up at me, puzzled. "Kat-" I cut him short with a kiss. He didn't kiss back at first because of shock, but in a split second his hands were grasping my hips and flipping us so he was on top, our lips moving in sync. "I'm-sorry-I-flipped." I say between kisses. He just moans in response. I gently but firmly push him away, "Peeta," I say, panting, "I'm serious."

He sighs and sits up, still looking at me. "Katniss, if I was so upset, I wouldn't have stayed out here all day." There's not a drop of sarcasm in his voice. Peeta, the poor boy, look so tired. He really did look like he spent half the day on the floor.

I didn't speak words, just reached for his hand and pulled him to his feet. While walking into the bedroom, I turned and pointed to his night cloths. He nodded and went into the bathroom to change. While he was is there, I changed into my night cloths too.

He came back out a few minutes later, and I pulled him into bed. When he tried to put his arms around me, I flipped over to face him. Starring into his eyes, I felt myself sailing through his soul. I felt him sailing my own. I searched and searched, thinking, _You stayed…_

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><p><em>AN: You see what I ment? Hard plot line... I couldnt figure out what they would fight about, but then I relised this needed to happen. I hpe you guys liked it. If you're new, REVIEW. If you havent yet reviewed... GOSH DARN IT JUST REVIEW! 100 by the end of chapter 10... Or even before, IF YOU WOULD JUST GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND REVIEW. _

_... Have a nice day._


	10. Stand

_A/N: So... since I havnt been able to update, I am NOT going to continue this story. Here is a long list of reasons why..._

_HAHAHAHAHA. KIDDING! APRIL FOOLS! I AM SO CONTINUEING!_

_I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON. TWO WHOLE FREAKING MONTHS? I dont blame any of you if you hate me... But... 100 REVIEWS! WHOOOOOHOOOOOO PARTYYYYYYYYYY! *Cough* Anyways. I would like to thank all of my readers for reviewing. It means the world to me. I appreciate every single one of you for taking your time to read this crappy story that I seam to never update. BUT HEY! WE ARE HALF WAY THROUGH THIS STORY!(: And then... the sequal.(; Yes, my friends. There WILL be a sequal. This summer, you will be over-joyed with how much I will update. It will be amazing._

_SO, HOW MANY OF YOU SAW THE MOVIE? 2 words: FREAKING AMAZING. Sure, I was pissed that there wasnt more Rue, or a longer cave seen, or that Peeta and Katniss only kissed ONCE. But, they hit everything that I wanted to see. It was as perfect as books-to-movies get. Peeta was soooo effin' hot. And so was Cato. Dayyymmmnnnn. Am I right? Or am I right? And to all of you boys who might be reading this... Ehh. STILL a really good movie.(: If you are a boy, let me know. I wanna see how many of you are dude reviewers.(: Oh... AND I CANT WAIT TILL CATCHING FIRE!(:_

_Anyways, this chapter was inspired by Stand by Rascal Flatts. Good song, bro. This is the 2nd longest chapter, right after chapter 8, I believe? I think it may even be longer...(; And how much of a noob am I that I dont even remember to put the person who helped with its name in the A/N? TWICE? Anyways, her name isnt showing up... Annie, no space, C., no space, Odair, and she is amazing. My new beta reader for this (and hopefully the rest?) chapter, is IThoughtMYJokesWereBad, who is super-duper awesome, who read this chapter and made it.. more mature. Soo.. if it doesnt sound like my writing style, its because someone finally chose to pull me out of my pathetic-ness and make me sound less like an 8 year old.(: _

_WARNING: This chapter is SUPER fluffy. Like, no chiz. It truely fills the whole Teen rating. So, you've been warned._

_AND, FINALLY, AFTER TWO WHOLE FREAKING MONTHS, I GIVE YOU..._

_CHAPTER 10!_

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><p>10.<p>

It is a bright Sunday morning when my eyes open the next day. The sun is shining through my window, illuminating the whole room with just the few rays that manage to penetrate my curtains; the birds chirping softly outside, reminding me of Rue for a moment, causing a small smile; and the only thing that is wrong is that left side of the bed is cold. I had felt Peeta stir a while ago, while I was still in the land of dreams, and now I can hear the shower is running in our bathroom. I smile, thinking about last night and how Peeta had stayed, despite being locked out and told to do otherwise.

It's amazing really, how, despite the fact that I am still so stubborn, he will still put up with me. He is just so…_wonderful_. I would be nothing without him. I would've never made it through everything I have if it wasn't for him. I wouldn't have been able to have as many great memories that I have without him. I would be leading a miserable life with Gale, if it wasn't for Peeta.

_My Peeta. _

I am still absolutely terrified that something might trigger another one of his frightening episodes to occur; but, for the first time in what feels like forever, I have faith, I have hope. I know that it will be all right. I know that, with every new challenge we will face, we will become stronger, we will grow closer together.

My smile broadens as the bathroom door creaks open and Peeta steps out. In _nothing but a towel._I stifle a giggle, and then say, "God, you would think that a grown man would remember to put on some pants."

Peeta's head snaps up and he looks directly at me, seeming confused. His eyes softened as he shifts his gaze to the floor uncomfortably, his face as red as a tomato. "I...Uh...I didn't expect you to be awake," he says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head with his hand.

I laugh and shake my head, "So that makes it okay to walk around naked?" I raise an eyebrow teasingly.

Peeta looks up at me for a moment and shrugs, "Well, I'm not naked yet." He then reaches for the towel around his waist.

My heart immediately starts racing and I let out a high-pitched and girlish squeal—which surprises not only Peeta, but me—and I cover my eyes with the fluffy comforter. I continue to giggle, laughing harder when I hear Peeta chuckling, too. I slowly and cautiously lower the blanket, afraid to see what Peeta is now wearing, or _not_ wearing... But I don't get to see, because as soon as my eyes clear the edge, I have a pair of lips glued to my temple, Peeta's beautiful face obscuring my view...not that I can complain too much. I giggle again and let him kiss my forehead with no resistance.

He hesitates a moment, then mumbles, "I bet I just look _so_ sexy kissing you with nothing but a _very_loose towel on..." Again, I scream, shoving the blanket over my head, my hair clinging to it with static. This time I hear Peeta full out laugh and I can't help but laugh too. He just has that effect on me.

I feel him lie down next to me, as his strong hands begin to playfully pry at the covers. "C'mon, Katniss. Just a wittle kissy?" I laugh at his choice of words, making him sound like a four year-old.

"How about you put on some pants first, eh?" I manage to get out through all my laughing.

I hear Peeta sigh with mock unhappiness, "Fine." I take the blanket off just in time to see him smile and roll his gorgeous, blue eyes.

I can't help but adore how he can, now, joke around with me all the time. It feels like forever since I've been able to openly joke with him without the fear of going too far, of crossing the very thin line that could bring on another episode. I can finally be real with him. We can finally be ourselves again.

Peeta strolls out of the bathroom, with pants on, thank goodness. He is holding his wet towel in his hands, rubbing his head to dry his dripping hair. When he notices me looking at him, he points to his pants. "Happy?"

My eyes fall to his bare chest, "Maybe if you put a shirt on..."

He scoffs and pats his chest with his hands. "Not gonna happen, sweetheart."

I groan loudly, "Oh, please don't. You sound like Haymitch..."

He puffs out his chest and smiles proudly. "At least I don't _look_ like him." _That would be terrible! _Neither of us says it, but I know we are both thinking it.

I throw back my head and laugh loudly, almost embarrassingly so. "Yes, thank God," I agree, not even wanting to imagine Peeta transforming into the haggard, drunkard that is Haymitch.

He smiles at me and saunters over to the bed, crawling on top of me and nudging my neck with his nose. Peeta kisses my neck, and then mumbles, "I would have to kill Haymitch if he ever did this to you…"

I laugh again as I lay my hands on his bare chest and push him over onto his back. I climb on top of him and smile as I rest my elbows on his chest. He smiles and rubs my thighs lightly. I lean over and hover my face just mere inches from his, "Let's not even go there." Peeta smiled and picks his head off of the bed, slowly leaning in to kiss me. I push my hands square against his chest, nailing him to the bed. There is a look of confusion and hurt on his face that I quickly wipe away with my next words. "Sorry, I don't kiss crazy, drunk men." I giggle and stand up, running into the bathroom to hide from Peeta. Still giggling, I put my back against the door.

Peeta is soon standing on the other side, knocking at the door. "Oh Kat, why don't you let me in?" he cooed in, what I think is meant to be, a seductive voice, but it comes out like a hoarse whisper.

I laugh again and lock the door for good measure, "No! I have to take a shower now. I smell like a drunken man."

I hear Peeta chuckle, then say, "Haymitch would kill us if he heard us making fun of him."

I smile and whisper through the closed door, "Then let's not tell him."

After I am done taking my shower, I step out in front of the mirror, looking at myself. I'm not half the girl I was almost two months ago. There are only light pink scars left where the red, angry scars and burns once were. I can scrub my body hard with a wash cloth without wincing or having to stop. I don't want to cry every time I step in front of a mirror, touching my scarred skin and worrying if Peeta will see someone as ugly as I as beautiful. But he does see me as beautiful, and he reminds me at least twice every day. I can't help but be extremely thankful for the night weeks ago when we showed each other our scars. After it happened, I went to bed as red as a tomato, thinking that what I did was stupid. It was days before I realized that it was important for our relationship, for me to realize that Peeta is just as hurt as I am.

I smile as I trace a heart lazily on my stomach, just like Peeta does to my back every night before sleep pulls us under. It doesn't matter what my appearance looks like, because he likes me for who I am. Our relationship is built off of years of pain, hurt, comfort, but also, pure love. He accepts me, just like I accept him.

I continue smiling until I am completely dressed, then I open the door with the towel in my hands, trying to dry my tangled mess of hair. I look up and see Peeta, lying in bed with his feet crossed and his hands behind his head, smiling up at me. I stop attempting to dry my hair and smile sheepishly at him. He continues to stare at me, smiling lazily like he always does when he's thinking about something that makes him happy.

I giggle lightly as I walk over to our bed, laying down on my stomach next to him and tilting my head upwards to look at him. "Penny for your thoughts," I say, propping my chin onto his chest.

Now he smiles down at me. "I'm thinking about our first kiss, the one in the cave, when you fell head over heels for me." I scoff and roll my eyes at his cocky comment. "Hey, it's true. Everyone knew, at the moment when you said my name after they announced the change in the rules, even if you didn't mean too, you cared about me. When you kissed me, you began to fall for me. Simple enough, Kat," he says, smirking down at me.

"All right," I concede, sitting up so I can look down at him again, "and what about you, Peeta? Everyone knew you were head over heels for me."

He nods and gazes at me, eyes locked with mine, "Yeah, everyone _but _you."

I look away from his face, remembering that painful moment on the way home from the Games, when Peeta and I went out to take a walk beyond the train station once we were far enough away from the Capitol. I remember the look on his face when I told him Haymitch had been helping me all throughout the Games, that our "romance" was nothing but a ploy to win the Games. The pain, mixing in with hatred and misery on his face was undeniable, and it was then that I had felt the guilt sink in and settle onto my chest. I remember the hollow look in his eyes and the empty sound in his voice when he reached out for my hand, asking, "One more time? For the audience?" I remember dreading the moment I had to let go of his hand, let go of his careful embrace.

"Well, my mind didn't seem to agree with what I wanted at that time," I mutter, keeping my eyes anywhere but on him.

Peeta tilts my chin up with one finger, making me look at him. He smiles up sadly at me, sitting up to kiss my forehead. "It's all right," he says as places his legs on either side me. He picks up my brush from my nightstand, bringing to my slowly drying hair and gently combing out the knots. "That's not important anymore. All that matters is that you're here with me now, in my arms, in my heart, in my bed…"

I turn around and slap his arm. "Peeta Mellark!" He begins to laugh as he grabs my waist and pulls me down onto the bed with him. I slap him again, this time on his chest, and laugh a little too. "Peeta Mellark..." I say again.

He smiles up at me, "What?"

I shake my head and laugh more as he pulls me on top of him. "That is so wrong."

He smiles sheepishly, "I'm sorry, Kat." His smile is so bright and true, reaching his crystalline, blue eyes. I almost got lost in his eyes, _almost_. Until, of course, there is a knock on the front door downstairs.

"Who could what to bother us now?" I moan, rolling off Peeta and heading towards my bedroom door.

My hand is on the door knob when Peeta speaks. "Uh... About that..." I hear him say. I turn on my heel and glare at him.

"_What_?" I ask in a warning tone, knowing how sneaky Peeta can be when he wants to. I'm starting to dread opening the door.

Another round of knocks resounds through the house.

"Well, you might just want to go answer the door..." he says, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head.

"Peeta, I swear..." I mumble, heading downstairs to open the door. Peeta follows me, now with a shirt on and his hair combed nicely. I give him a suspicious look, swinging open the front door. To reveal my mother.

-  
>"Well, when you didn't return any of my calls <em>or<em>pick up the phone, I kept calling. I figured one day you would be angry enough to finally answer. And then, to my luck, Peeta picked up last week and we talked while you were out hunting," I took her pause as a chance to send Peeta a death promise with my eyes, but he was busily inspecting his tea, "and he asked me to visit, to talk to you. So, here I am," my mother finished, looking at me with her sad and lonely eyes. I didn't respond to prevent me from snapping at her. I hated her. She left me. They all did.

"Well," Peeta sighs, "I can see you two lovely ladies have some catching up to do, so I will head over to the bakery."

I glare at him, "Oh, no you're-"

"Katniss, maybe that's a good idea," my mother says, interrupting me mid-objection.

I sit back in my chair and scowl at the floor. Peeta kisses me on the head gingerly, and then kisses my mother on the cheek before he promises to be back in an hour. I shoot him a look that says, _we will talk about this later_, and then I crossed my arms the best I could with the tea cup in my hands, continuing to scowl at the floor.

"Katniss," my mother begins, "I'm-"

"Let's just cut to the point, mother," I interrupt. "Prim died. Dad died. You were a coward and left your other daughter in _another_ _District_ to try and cope with the deaths of the two people she cared about most." I say, slamming my cup down on the tray Peeta had brought the tea out on.

I saw my mother cringe into the cushions of her seat. "Katniss, please try to understand that-"

"Understand what, mother? That you were hurt? Well I have news for you, so was I! Did you know I did absolutely nothing for months? Did you know I sat here, on this very couch, not able to move because, when I did, I felt sick to my stomach? _You left me_. Greasy Sae was more of a mother then you _EVER_ were!" I didn't continue after that, deciding to let those words sink in.

I see my mother stop breathing at the shock of my words, her eyes overflowing with tears but downcast to the floor. I know I hurt her, but she deserves it. I was alone. I could have died.

_But you didn't_.

I roll my eyes and covered my face with my hands. _Oh great, you're back._ I think, sighing at the voice in the back of my head.

_Glad to know you missed me_, it says, and I glare at the floor.

_What do you want?_ I ask it bitterly.

_You said you could've died. But you didn't. You said Greasy Sae was more of a mother than the woman sitting across from you ever was. _

_Is that really true? Or are you just saying that because you're hurt?_

I continue to glare at the floor, too stubborn to admit that the voice is right. Maybe I was-

"I didn't know what else to do, Katniss," my mother says, cutting my thoughts short. I glance up at her. "You're just like your father. Your hair and your eyes...they're exactly the same as his. The way you hunt, and how you always shoot each animal right in the eye... I couldn't stand it after your father died. That's why I blanked out, blocked the real world out. With you there, it was like he was still there as well, living with us. But he wasn't. He was gone, and I had to realize it. And then Prim, my poor, sweet Primrose. You were more of a mother to her than I ever was. And she still lives within you; in your strength, your courage, your smile, when you're not scowling, of course."

This, of course, causes me to scowl.

My mother laughs gently, getting up from her seat to sit with me on the couch. She hesitates for a moment, and then speaks again, her voice solemn. "You're right. I didn't know how to cope with their deaths, but I do now. And that's why I'm back here, Katniss. You don't have to forgive me; I don't really expect you to. But, please, just know that I am truly, deeply sorry for leaving you. I missed you every day. I called every day, but you never answered. Yet, I didn't blame you. I would be angry with myself, too. I am sorry though, darling."

My eyes fill with water as she apologizes, calling me darling. "You haven't called me that since before Dad died…" I manage to mumble, swallowing the thick lump in my throat.

My mother's eyes fill with tears of her own. "I know, darling, and I am so sorry. I didn't mean to blank out on you. I just didn't know what else to do. You remind me so much of your father. I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm so sorry."

Crying, I wrap my arms tightly around her neck, pulling her in for the first hug we've shared in months. She graciously accepts it, hugging me back tightly, crying tears of her own. And for the first time since my father died, I say, "I forgive you, Mom."

Saying goodbye to my mother the next day isn't the easiest thing for me to do, which surprises everyone, including myself. I cry a few tears, as does she. Peeta is gracious enough to give us a few minutes to talk, and when we do, I promise my mother that I will pick up the phone, even when I feel like crap, and she promises to call everyday to check up on us.

She kisses me goodbye on the cheek, and then she goes to talk to Peeta. I try to read their lips, but Peeta notices and turns my mother and himself away from me, glancing back to playfully stick out his tongue. I roll my eyes and wait for them to finish.

The train calls for all its final boarders, and my mother turns to me again. "I love you, Katniss. You really are blessed to have such a great boyfriend to look after you." My eyes widen and my face heats up with her words, but before I can object, she kisses both mine and Peeta's cheeks and boards onto the train with a final wave to us.

Walking away from the train station, I am still blushing furiously at my mother's words. Peeta, as my _boyfriend_? I had never thought of it that way, but I like how it sounds. Peeta slips his hand into mine as we walk. "Where would you like to go, girlfriend?"

I blush and look up at him, "So it's okay for you to eavesdrop?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow.

He throws back his head, in a way that only he can, and laughs. He smiles so brightly down at me that I felt its warmth all the way in my toes. "Well, aren't we technically dating?" he asks me, swinging our hands back and forth.

I look ahead of us and ponder this. He lives with me, sleeps in the same bed as me, never leaves my side, kisses me whenever he likes, holds me when I am scared, and cares about me. "Yes," I say, looking back to Peeta's lightly tanned face, "I guess we are." I smile up at him, and he leans in to kiss me.

"Whoa, there. You aren't completely off the chain yet," I say, putting my index finger to his lips and pushing them back.

"What? Why not?" he asks me, an adorable pout forming on his lips.

"Will you please stop inviting people that I am not exactly on-terms with from my past into our home? I am trying to move on from it all and it's not exactly helping when I have different people stopping by to see me; first Gale, and then my mother. Who's next, Snow?"

Peeta stops walking and looks down at me. What he says next is probably the wisest thing I have heard in years. "There is no point in making our future together, Katniss, if you can't even face the past." I stare up at him for a minute, letting his words sink in. "I mean, how are we going to forget if we can't forgive?" he says to me.

I think about this for a second, and then nod. "You're right, Peeta."

He smiles one of his cocky smiles and leans in close to me, his breath wafting the scent of dill and flour over me. "Of course I am, aren't I always?"

I raise my hand to slap him on the arm and begin to open my mouth to protest, but his lips slam into mine before I can even get the words out. He wraps his strong arms tightly around me. Between his kisses, I manage to mumble, "I'll get you back for this, one day." He kisses me harder after I say that, and I melt into his embrace.

After a minute or so, he stops kissing me and smiles his cocky smile again. "Sure you will, Kat. But remember, I have the power to make you shut up." I begin to open my mouth again to protest, but he kisses me again. I smile into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. We pull apart and continue walking. We stay in silence until we reach the District Square, and that's when Peeta turns to me. "You know, I must be one hell of a kisser if it makes you lose your train of thoughts every time I kiss you."

My jaw drops as he begins to laugh and takes off in a sprint towards Victors Village. I laugh, beginning to run to try to catch him. "Peeta Mellark! I am going to kill you!"

He laughs and turns around, causing me to slam right into him. He wraps his arms around my waist to steady me. "Whether you kill me or not, Girl on Fire, you're going to be the death of me."

Laughing, I stand up on my tippy-toes and stop with my lips only inches from his. "You are so dead to me." I whisper, giggling lightly so he knows I'm kidding. I lean in slowly-

Peeta's arms leave my waist. "Gotta catch me first."

I open my eyes to see Peeta running again. I smile, shaking my head as I begin to chase after him, peals of laughter emitting from both of us.

* * *

><p><em>AN: You like? You dont like? REVIEW. You have an idea? You wanna see something happen? TELL ME. Want to have me write a specific one-shot? REQUEST IT!(:_


	11. Same Mistakes

_A/N: Alrighty, guys. So, I know. I suck. I don't even know how long it's been… Gahh. But here's the next chapter! And you guys are gonna hate e because… CLIFTHANGER! DUHDUHN DUUHHH! Sorry, but it had to happen eventually._

_This Chapter was inspired by the song Same Mistakes by One Direction. I don't care if you don't like them. They are my loves, and if you hate them, then it SUCKS TO SUCK because I don't care. Don't stop reading this story because of my likes. Anyways, some of the lyrics go like this: _

**_"So we played, played, played all the same old games and we wait, wait, wait for the end to change and we take, take, take it for granted that we'll be the same, but we're making all the same mistakes."_**

_You'll understand after you read the Chapter. SO READ IT. Big thanks to my Beta reader IThoughtMyJokesWereBad. You are one awesome person.(;_

_This Chapter has Peeta a little OOC from Suzanne Collins version, as have all the OTHER chapters did… But I'm going to be 100% honest: This is MY story. If you don't like playful-Peeta, sucks. I personaly, LIKE playful-Peeta and his nickname for Katniss. And uh, SPOILER ALLERT: He won't be around much longer anyways. He is more playful because that's how boys get when around girls who like them back. _

_WARNING: BIG kissing seen. Really plays up to the whole **TEEN** rated thingy. Oh… And is anyone here Team Haymitch?(;_

_ANYWAYS. NO MORE DISTRACTIONS. READ._

* * *

><p>11.<p>

I didn't expect for it to happen again. That's a lie; I just didn't think it would happen so soon. How could've I been so stupid? Everything was going great, and now...I don't even know if I could ever see anything the same way again...

It is the end of March, a little under three months after my mother left. Every day it is getting slightly warmer outside; the early fumes of spring are beginning to be more at rest in the District. I continue going to the bakery with Peeta every day, even when he asks me not to. I hate the thought of being separated from him, even if it's just for a few hours. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how head-over-heels I am for him. I just never want to be apart.

Sure, the meat we stock in the freezer will run out every now and then. Peeta will ask me to go hunting, and I will. The people in District 12 are still gracious for extra meat—even though they have set up a ranch beyond the eastern outskirts of the District Circle—Greasy Sae especially. She makes whatever I bring in as the daily special at her new restaurant The Clay Bowl, but since I only go hunting every two weeks or so, I always bring her back a full bag of game.

When I do go hunting, I make Peeta take the day off from his work at the bakery and come to help me pull in some game. Usually, he will just collect plants with the help of my father's book, but, every now and then, he will get lucky and take out a rabbit or a squirrel; he has become very handy with a knife. When he does happen to catch a small animal, he will somehow sneak up and scare me. This is one of those times.

My eyes are locked on a doe that is drinking water from a small stream fifty feet ahead of me. My fingers itch to release the arrow, but I am waiting for the deer's head to pop up so that I can nail it right in the eye. The doe's head lifts to check its surrounding area, and I take a deep breath in, re-

"KATNISS!"

I scream so loud that the doe's head shoots up, and it quickly flees when I drop my bow to the ground.

Spinning on my heel, I glare at Peeta as my palms smack his chest. "Peeta Mellark! That was the first deer I've seen all year!"

He looks at me with an adorable cocky smile, "Well, considering it's only March of a new year..." I glare deeply at him. Peeta smiles brightly at me, "But, Kat, look at what I caught!" he says excitedly, waving the dead rabbit in my face. Somehow, he has managed to kill it by stabbing it in the head.

"Peeta, that's not something you should wave in my face," I say, smacking his hand lightly.

He frowns and puts it in the game bag, "At least I caught my prey..."

Picking up my bow, I scowl deeply at the blond haired man. Getting only inches from his face, I glare even more. "Screw. You."

Smiling another cocky smile, he quickly grabs my waist and pulls my hips flush against his. Rubbing his nose against my neck, he mumbles, "Is that an offer?"

I push him away from me. "_No_."

He smiles and picks up two of the three full game bags. "It's all right, Kat. You'll get over it." Winking at me, he saunters past, leaving me gapping in his direction.

* * *

><p>Our rounds take longer than usual to finish. It seems that every person that passes us just has to stop us and ask us how everything is going. I've been getting better at the whole talking-to-people thing, but I'm still no Peeta. He can carry on a conversation with someone for hours on end, while, as for me, people should be grateful if they get ten minutes.<p>

After three hours—no thanks to all the people who stop us—we finally make it over to The Clay Bowl to drop off the last haul of game to Greasy Sae. As soon as Peeta walks into the front door, a roar goes up throughout the restaurant. I'm not even completely in yet when I heard many people yelling their own comments at us, like "How ya doing?" or "Hey, you two!" or even the scattered murmurs of, "Yup, they're still together!"

I finally make it into the building, and it is packed. Word must have finally made it throughout the District that Greasy Sae was opening up a restaurant. As my eyes adjust to the lighting inside the sturdy, brick building, I make out a small figure at the counter, hands on hips, and a kind face giving Peeta and me a look. Peeta turns and smiles sheepishly back at me.

"Well," Greasy Sae says. "It's about damn time." I smile brightly at her as the crowded room laughs. I hurry over and wrap my arms around her small body. Kissing my cheek, she pats my back. Peeta walks up to her and smiles, kissing her on the cheek and giving her a quick hug.

What most people don't know is how much time Sae and Peeta had spent together. Sure, they didn't know each other before the Hunger Games, and they weren't "best friends" after it either. But when Peeta was in District 13 recovering, he had spent a lot of time with Sae, who was more than willing to help Peeta back up onto his feet, while picking up some cooking and baking tips too. Every now and then, even now that the war is far over, he still talks to Sae when she stops by the bakery to pick up bread made from the hands of an expert.

"All right, all right," Greasy Sae says, gently pushing Peeta away from her. "Enough mushy stuff. What'cha got for me this time, girl?" she asks, turning to me.

I muster up a very serious face that clearly says "I'm all business." "Well," I begin, taking and opening the bag that Peeta had lobbed over his shoulder a few short moments ago, "I have nine rabbits, a wild dog that was stupid enough to cross my path, and seven squirrels—"

"Cough. Peeta caught one. Cough." I turn around and glare at Peeta who was giving me his innocent I-didn't-do-anything look.

"And _I_ could've had a _deer_, but _someone_ had to come and scare it away," I say, cocking an eyebrow at Peeta.

His face turns a light pink as he runs a hand through his hair, "Well, uh…"

"Oh, what a shame! We would've _loved_ to have some deer, right?" Sae turns and looks around the cheering room, shaking her head. I smile and laugh, turning around to stick my tongue out at Peeta.

He puts his hands on my hips, his lips next to my ear. "You better watch it, Girl on Fire, I bite." I gasp and turn to slap him, but I get distracted by the roar of laughter coming from Sae. She even high-five's Peeta. I'm sure, at this point, that my face is beet red; I can feel extreme heat rising off of it. I stand back and cross my arms, not saying anything else.

Peeta hands the bag to Sae and exchanges a few friendly words with her before he tells her that we have to be going. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he waves to all the people in the room, and then drags me out.

Walking back to our house in the Village, Peeta pulls my waist closer to his side. "C'mon, Kat, you can't be mad at me for that. I was just kidding." When I don't respond to him, he sighs and stops walking. "Katniss…" I look down at my feet. "Katniss, please, look at me." I shift my eyes up to meet his. His eyes are concerned; sad, almost. "I didn't mean to offend you, Katniss. I was just playing around. I didn't mean for Greasy Sae to hear it, she just did. I'm sorry…" I tilt my head up towards his, and then I smile brightly at him. He smiles back at me in relief, resting his head onto my shoulder, his warm breath tickling my neck. "I thought you were mad at me…"

I smile again, closing my eyes and praying his soft lips will make contact my neck. "Me? Never…" He takes his head off my shoulder, and when I open my eyes, he's smiling, leaning in to kiss me.

I take a step back, and when his confused eyes look at me, I shrug, "Sorry. I don't think I should kiss someone who bites." He shakes his head, following me as I begin to walk up the steps and onto the porch. I begin to reach for the doorknob, hearing a shower call out my name.

That's when Peeta decides to grab my waist and gently push my back against the wall next to the door. He kisses me, hard. I instantly forget about my shower, my hand dropping the keys to the house as my arms wrapped around his neck. I kiss him back, missing his warm lips on mine. Don't get me wrong, we've kissed…a lot more than we did before the war, but these past few weeks he's only given me short, quick, hello and goodbye pecks. I've been waiting for this moment since his lips last left mine. This was the first time it had ever lasted this long since the Quarter Quell, I noticed. Usually, it's no longer than, say ten seconds?

I still don't know where my feelings stand with him. We are friends, right? I mean friends hang out a lot, laugh at each other's jokes, and appreciate the other's presence… Or are we more like, dare I say it, lovers? We kiss…_a lot… _We sleep next to each other, we _flirt_ (who would've ever thought _I, Katniss Everdeen,_ would flirt?) with each other…

My God, what is he turning me into?

I am worriedly thinking about all this, then I felt Peeta's tongue swipe my bottom lip. My knees go weak, and Peeta pushes up against me harder—my back is practically nailed to the wall—so that I don't sink to the ground. God, I never knew things like this could be so purely _good_. I mean, sure, when we kissed before it was good, but now… I don't even know how to explain it.

Peeta bites my bottom lip.

I squeal into his mouth out of total shock. He pulls away and smirks at me. "I told you, I bite," he says, in a low, gravelly voice that makes my stomach do a back-flip. I nod my head, stifling giggles as I lean in to give him one last peck on his lips, letting him know I am done with this… session.

"My God, if it wasn't for the fact that you two are like my kids, I would've called the freaking law-enforcers and reported you two for PDA by now."

I clear my throat and try to hide the blush creeping up my face. "Well, good to see you, too, Haymitch." I move to stand beside Peeta, lacing my fingers with his.

Our old mentor snarls at me as he throws moldy bread to his poor geese. "Nice to know you've been eating what I make for you, Haymitch." Peeta says, looking disappointingly at the bread the geese were now fighting over and back to Haymitch's thinning frame.

"Look kid, I don't need you bugging me," Haymitch snaps, glaring at the two of us.

I sigh and rub my temples, then move my hand to the spot just above my left eyebrow where I get my headaches, much like the one I can feel coming on now. I sigh again and mumble to Peeta, "He must've run everyone dry again. We'll have to wait until the next train comes in." I moan as I put my head onto the cold glass door, "Don't you just love withdrawal?"

Peeta gives me a disapproving glance as he looks worriedly over to Haymitch. "Well, the train comes every six weeks, and it's been five. So, I think we can make it through—"

"That's the thing, Love-Birds! My doctor is having all alcohol _restricted_ from District 12 until I'm sober! Apparently, it's 'bad for my liver.' To hell with my liver! I need my damned alcohol!" Peeta and I exchange glances. This means _total_ withdrawal, and that could take forever. It would be like District 13 all over again… "Well, screw everyone," Haymitch mutters. "You two go to sleep. Don't do anything stupid." Then he turns and walks back inside his dark house.

Peeta and I are quiet until the door closes. As soon as it does, we begin to laugh hysterically. "No. Alcohol. In. 12?" Peeta laughs, holding his stomach as he falls onto the porch bench.

I laugh with him, still standing, "Do they really think they can keep it from him?"

"Keep laughing! I really appreciate it!" I whip my head around to see Haymitch giving us the bird through his window closest to our house.

Peeta and I get quiet and look at each other. "Inside?" he mumbles.

"I couldn't agree more."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Peeta P.O.V<strong>_

I smile to myself as I put the next rack of cookies into the oven. It's amazing how just that perfect memory of Katniss can make my day so much brighter. Haymitch wasn't happy at all when I went over this morning to drop of his bread. He was quite angry, actually, especially when he caught me stifling giggles. "Ehh, that's all right." I told him, "You still love me."

He looked like he wanted to run me through with his knife.

I let a small laugh escape my mouth as I put flour and yeast into a bowl. I love my relationship with Katniss, and I can't believe how strong it is getting. I haven't had an episode in, what, two months? Three? Who knew? I had stopped paying attention when Katniss began to smile again.

"Hey, you," I feel small hands squeeze my bicep.

I smile as I turn my head to Katniss, getting a whiff of pine and blood. "Oh…" I say, gently pushing her away from the dough-in-process.

"Is there something wrong?" she asks, furrowing her brows.

"Oh… Nothing. Just…may I suggest a shower?"

Katniss looks down at her dirty hunting gear, then back up at me. Today, for once, I actually convinced her to go out and get me some herbs so I could cook the duck we were lucky enough to catch yesterday. She fought me from the moment I got back from Haymitch's until the moment I convinced her to leave.

"But, I missed you today…" she whispers, looking down to the corner.

I smile gently, wrapping my large arms around her petite body. "I missed you, too." I say, kissing her dirty head. "But a shower would be _really_ nice right now."

Katniss gives me a sheepish smile as she searches my face. "Okay, I take a shower, and then… Bed?"

I look over at the clock hanging on the wall. _Jeez_, I think, _I didn't realize it was 11:30._ "Uhh…" I begin, looking back at my dough then back at Katniss. "Well… I mean I just started this dough, and uh, my, uh. M-My cookies! Yeah they're gonna be done soon, and well tomorrow is Haymitch's half-birthday so…" Katniss cocks one of her eyebrows at me, and I smile. "Yes, I will be in bed as soon as I'm done with baking and preparing the duck for tomorrow."

She smiles triumphantly up at me, kissing me slowly on my lips. "Hurry, okay?" I nod quickly, getting a giggle from her before she jogs up the stairs to go take a shower.

I smile again, turning back to my dough that is almost finished. I just have to put it into the ice box so it could stay fresh over night, that way it will be ready to cook in the morning for Haymitch. I consider whether or not I should knead it, or wait till tomorrow to knead it. I hear the shower upstairs turn off as I look over at the herbs sitting on the counter, patiently waiting for my hands to use them, and the woman upstairs, patiently waiting for me so we could sleep. _Yeah, kneading can definitely wait._

I wrap the dough in plastic and shove it carelessly into the ice box. Haymitch won't mind if I am a _little_ late tomorrow. I get out the duck that has been defrosting in the refrigerator, pulling a knife from our knife box. _I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying 'our'_, I think happily.

It always seems to make me stop short when I think about how far our relationship has come since that painful day almost three years ago. _Wow,_ I think, _three years._ Three long, amazing, dream-like, painful, dreadful-

I let out a strangled cry as the knife gashes a slit into my hand. _That's what I get for not paying attention. _I drop the knife on the floor, my eye vision blurring. _I hope Katniss doesn't hear. _The timer for the cookies goes off, but I ignore it, only thinking about my hand. I walk hazily over to the cabinet that holds the bandages. My eyes can't seem to focus as my hands throw the white bottles onto the ground, watching them as they become marked with my orange blood. _Orange blood?_

I scream out when I can't find the bandages. _Screw that good-for-nothing Katniss. All this time she has been waiting for this moment. Waiting for the moment when she could watch me bleed to death. That little-_

"Peeta?"

I whip around. _Speak of the devil._ She's standing there in her nighttime clothes looking worriedly at me. _What a lying bitch_. _She wanted this to happen._ "What happened? Is everything okay?" she asks.

I glare at Katniss as my eyesight finally becomes clear again. "You think I don't remember," I growl, my fists clenching at my sides.

"Peeta, what are you talking about?" she asks, fake-innocence gushing from her voice. She walks over to the oven and turns off the timer then turns toward me, and I flinch at the memory.

"_Why would a woman like me, love a man like you? You're pathetic. I am strong, beautiful, and independent. I need a man who could live up to those standards, a man like Gale." She walked up to me and grabbed my face roughly in her hand. "No one could ever love a man like you."_

I scream as I feel her hand touch my arm, shock waves stinging my skin like fire. "Peeta…"

I grab her arm with my hand, holding her tightly so she can't hurt me. "Don't. Touch. Me." She looks up at me, frightened. _It's all an act…_ "You bitch." I throw her away from me.

"Peeta, what's going on?" she whimpers. "I don't understand!"

I laugh bitterly at her, "You don't understand? You don't _understand?"_ I slam her roughly against the wall, my green blood splattering the wall and her night-shirt. _Wait, green blood?_

She coughs and lets a small whimper escape. "Remember, Katniss," I spit, "when you told me that you would never love me? Remember when I tried to protect you, and you _hurt_ me? You're just a dirty, filthy, self-centered mutt. I gave my all to you, and you _betrayed me_. You remember that, Katniss? HUH?"

She is crying now. Tears stream down her face as I yell in it, as my blue blood spreads across her shirt. _Blue blood? What the hell is going on? _She cries even louder as my hands move roughly over her body and to her neck.

_Peeta_, a voice says from the back of my head. _Stop, Peeta._ My fingers wrap around her neck, and she coughs, trying to breathe. "I'm going to end your sorry life, and you won't hurt another person like you hurt me _ever_ again."

_Let go of her neck, Peeta._ _She didn't do anything._

"NO!" I shout, thrusting her body against the wall.

She lets out another cry. "But I-I lo-lo…" Katniss begins to let out strangled cries.

_LET HER GO. SNAP OUT OF IT._

I let go of Katniss and fall to the ground, grabbing my head and curling up in a ball as I fight with myself.

_She's a good person Peeta. She has a good heart._

I hear Katniss crying next to me. I get up quickly and see my red blood all over the floor, her shirt, and worst of all, her neck. I can't even see her neck completely due to the fact that her neck was covered with her chin. "Oh my God, Katniss, I am so sorry," I whisper, reaching out to touch her.

She screams before my fingers can even touch her, sitting up and crawling franticly backwards so that her back was against the wall.

"Katniss," I say as I start to move closer, "I swear, I—" As soon as my fingers touch her, she lets out a whimper, but doesn't push me away. I lift her chin up, and am horrified to what I see. Her neck is completely covered in blood; my blood, as well as hers. My fingernails have left scratches on her neck that are bleeding furiously. "Oh, my God…" I felt the cold tears fall off my cheek bones as I look at the woman falling apart slowly in front of me.

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><p><em><strong>Katniss P.O.V.<strong>_

I cry even harder when I open my eyes and see Peeta crying, too. _How could've this happened? He was fine when I went to take a shower… _Peeta closes his eyes tightly in front of me, and I try not to cry harder. _He can't even look at me._

"I'm so sorry, Katniss. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I-I can't stay here." I watch helplessly as Peeta gets off the ground and runs out the door. The moment when I need him the most, he leaves me broken on the floor. I feel my heart, for the first time since Prim died, break into pieces. I touch my fingers to my throat, whimpering as I feel the scratches and the warm blood. The stench reaches my nose, and I cringe at the smell, reminding me of my times in the Games.

I look around the torn kitchen, tears blurring my eyes. "Peeta…" I mumble, breathing harder, "Peeta…" My body begins to rack with sobs, and I scream once I realize that tonight, I am alone. Tonight, I have to face my nightmares alone. My arms wrap tightly around my body as I begin to bawl harder than I ever have before. I scream for the man that I know will not come. I crave his eyes, his smell, his skin, his sweet words, telling me that I will be okay. I crave his presence.

_Peeta, I need you…_

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><p><em>AN: CLIFTHANGERRR! BAHBAHBAHHH! So, I'll have the next chapter up ASAP, since, ya know, ITS SUMMER, BABES.(; _

_Anywho. REVIEW. LIKE, UH, NOW._


	12. Torn

_A/N: **IM BACK, MINIONS. **Yes, you are my minions._

_Raise you hand if your pissed I waited two months to update? Oh, well shit... That is all of you... Well, I had a bit of writers block. AND, I was also working on something EXTRA special... But you're gonna have to wait till I'm done. 'Casue I'm a butt like that._

_Alright, so I have a bit of explaining to do. This chapter is inspired by the song Torn, originally sung by Natalie Imbruglia, but I hear this song because of One Direction, so it's the 1D cover._

**_"Nothing fine I'm_ _TOOORRRNNNNN!"_**

_ ANYWAYS. This chapter has a part in it that I will explain at the end. DONT GO ALL FREAK ON ME UNTIL YOU READ IT, KAY?_

_Guys, I feel like I'm going to have to start to beg for reviews. I hope you realize, when you review, it gives me the Writer-Superpower Boost, and I write. I smile and get all happy when someone favs or alerts this story. Please, please review. I need you guys to help me. Please?_

_Big thanks to my lovely beta reader, IThoughtMyJokesWereBad, because she's freaking amazing, and my soul sister.(:_

_Now, kiddos, go read. Enjoy, **READ THE A/N AT THE END, **AND REVIEW.(:_

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><p><em><strong>12. Torn<strong>_

The nightmares. I should have expected them. The moment he left I knew that I would be broken tonight. Without his kind words, his deep voice whispering sweet nothings to me; without his gentle touch, pulling me away from the nightmares that haunt me; most of all, without his lips, chapped yet soft, kissing me when I would break down.

I reach up and feel the marks on my neck—the sensitive skin that is most likely turning into a bruise, as well as the dried blood crusted to my skin. A tear sneaks out of my shut eyes, tracking a cold, lifeless line down my cheekbone. I quickly wipe it away, and then put my hands back under my head.

Somehow, through the crying and bawling, I made it to the bedroom. I didn't make it to the bed, though, but I did manage to discard all the clothing I had on.

I shivered as the open window blew cold, spring air across my naked body. _Peeta likes to sleep with the windows open._ A strangled cry releases from my lips as I struggle to crawl to the bed, and pulling the think blanket off and onto the floor with me. I didn't have the strength to get onto the bed.

I shut my eyes tight, wrapping the blanket snuggly around my shivering body, wishing to have Peeta and his constant warmth back. I see his dilated pupils murderously staring into my soul, plotting my death. That image is burned into the back of my eyelids. I quickly open them, praying I was just hallucinating. I sprawl out across the floor, and laugh bitterly to myself. I guess this is what Snow had wanted all along. He wanted to wait until Peeta and I were happy for once in our lives, when I trusted him again, so he could let his damned tracker-jacker venom take over my Peeta; so he could take him away from me when I need him the most. I let out a strangled scream, feeling my faith flee me. Then I cry out, knowing no one will hear, "I need you, Peeta! I need you!" I take in a staggering breath, "I'm torn, Peeta. I'm torn..."

**Peeta P.O.V**

"You did _what_ now?!" Haymitch yells as my hands cover my face, my fingers wiping my eyes to remove the tears that were beginning to build.

"I didn't mean to, Haymitch! I was thinking about her, and then everything began to-"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, kid. What I don't understand is why the hell you're here and not over at your house making her feel better. Did ya ever think that maybe that could hurt her more than what you did to her physically? 'Cause in case you didn't notice, the mental hurts that girl more than the physical. I mean, she didn't blank out for months because her skin was ruined."

He gives me a cocky "I know I'm right" look as he takes a swig out of a bottle filled with spirits.

"I thought you weren't allowed to have alcohol... Where'd you even get that from?"

He shoots me a glare, "I have my connections, Lover Boy." I look down at my feet, tears clouding my vision.

_Lover Boy_, I think bitterly, _So much for Lover Boy._

I nod my head as I wipe away the tear that escaped. "Do you mind if I stay here tonight, Haymitch? I can't go back to her. I-I might hurt her again..."

Haymitch sighs as he pulls out another bottle from under his chair and hands it to me. I raise my eyebrows at him and begin to protest, but he cuts me off. "It'll ease the pain, at least for tonight. I don't suggest continuing it, though. Unless you want to end up like yours truly." He laughs sadly as he waves his bottle around, gesturing to his messy house.

I nod slowly as I pull the cork out of the mouth of the bottle and take a gulp. It burns as it runs down my throat. I make a face, but take another swig anyways. As much as it burned, it made me feel the slightest bit better.

"Lemme tell you a story, Peeta." I raise my eyes to meet Haymitch's, but his eyes were looking far out the window behind my head. "When I went through my Hunger Games, I had a girl waiting for me, as well as my mom, my little brother…"He takes another swig out of the bottle, but the faraway look doesn't leave his eyes, if anything, the alcohol seems to intensify his dreamy state. "I didn't love my girl like I should've...I was in love with someone else. I still loved Azalea, but not as much as I loved Maysilee. I tried to ignore it when she was reaped along with me, but she was so scared.

"I held her most of that night while she cried. Before we got into the arena, I tried to tell her that I loved her, but I never had the courage to. Like you with Everdeen, I had watched Maysilee for years, and somewhere along the way I fell in love with her. I knew it would never work, though. I mean, she was a happy merchant's child; I was a bitter Seam boy. Anyways, when we got into the arena, I kept a tab on her. I knew one or both of us would die, I just didn't want her to go first."

He paused to take another swig, and I quietly listened. "When she saved me, I swore I would find a way to try to get her out. That's why I insisted we kept walking to find where the arena ended; I wanted to get her out. I tried to work up the courage, I really did, but it never worked. I always chickened out. When she died...a part of me died, too. I held her as she took her dying breath, and I whispered to her that I loved her. She died with a smile on her face, her hand on my chest.

"After coming back here to Twelve, I felt like a zombie. My girl didn't notice. I began to come back to being myself after about a week. I figured, better to forget then dread. I began to love Azalea more and more every day. After I came back from shopping two weeks after the Games had ended, my family and Azalea, gone..." His eyes were hollow as they stared out the widow behind my head. He raised the bottle up to his lips to drink again, but found it empty. He threw it carelessly behind him, still staring out that window.

"I guess that's why I encouraged you to tell Katniss you loved her. I didn't want you to feel the same way I do, like maybe things would be different if I would've said something. But, that's why I drink, Peeta. I need to forget my past."

For the first time since he began his story, he looks into my eyes. "Don't let her go, Peeta. You were lucky enough to save her twice, don't let something the Capitol caused ruin that special thing you have with her. You need to be in control over the venom, not the other way around. She'll forgive you if you really mean it when you apologize. So, don't screw up."

He sighs as he rubs his forehead. "You can stay here for the rest of the night, but tomorrow I want you back over there." Haymitch stands, snagging the more than half-way filled bottle from my hand and drinking from it.

He begins to leave the room, so I speak out, "Thanks, Haymitch. For everything."

He stops and turns to smile lazily at me. "Yeah, just don't get too used to it, Lover Boy."

**Katniss P.O.V**

I woke up to the sun creeping through my window. The birds outside my window were chirping their tunes happily at the sky, and a smile spread across my lips. Dad must've just gotten back. I stretch as I get out of my bed, my back cracking into alignment.

"Oh, good! You're awake!" I look up to see a smiling blonde head poking her head through my door.

My eyebrows dip as I open my mouth to ask her a question, but as soon as my lips parted, my mind went blank. _What was I about to say?_ I shrug it off, not worrying about it. I smile back standing to go give her a hug, "Yes, Prim, I'm awake."

She tugs at my hand, pulling me down the steps of the house. "Dad just got home from hunting! Mom said that she would make us a great stew today, and that we can have everyone come over to celebrate!"

I stop at the bottom of the stairs and look questioningly at her, "Celebrate what?"

She gives me a quizzical look, but quickly brushes it off and smiles again. "Why, your victory, Katniss! I mean, you and Haymitch, both. Zarek wouldn't have made it back without you two! And the Victory Tour went well, evidently!"

Before I can question anything else, Prim saunters into the kitchen. I walk in behind her, trying to distinguish what exactly was going on. "There's my girl! You should have come with me this morning, Katniss. The woods were calling for you." I stare disbelievingly at my father as he kisses my cheek. "I know you're tired though, so I'll let it slip this one time." I let a small smile pull at my mouth as my father winks at me.

My mother walks in through the back door with the fresh meat in her hands. "Oh, you're awake! I'm making stew tonight!"

I don't say anything as I look around my house. _When did all this happen? _

"When are Birch and the family coming over?" my father asks my mother after he gives her a soft kiss on the lips.

"Around twelve, along with Haymitch, Cinna, Finnick and Annie, Zarek and his family, and of course Sae."

I resist the urge to ask my mother why people who are. Again, my mind went puzzlingly blank. I shake my head and look up to my parents. "What about Peeta?" I heard myself asking.

My family stopped what they were doing and turned to look worriedly at me. "Uh, Katniss, why don't you go get some herbs for your mother from the woods? I forgot to pick them and she'll need them to make the stew," my father says, handing me a list of herbs and his worn out hunting jacket.

I nod, noticing how no one answered my question. "Let me just go get changed, then." I tie my hair-tie into the bottom of my braid as I walk silently down the stairs.

"Jarrah, she keeps talking about this Peeta kid. We don't even know him! We need to have her go see someone for these hallucinations."

I feel my blood run cold as my feet stop mid-step. "I know, Amaryllis, I know. Just not today, not today."

I walk quickly through the kitchen, mumbling something about returning soon. My father tries to stop me, but I side-step his hand and continue walking out the back-door. What I need more than anything was some fresh air.

Making my usual trek to the woods, I begin to notice things I don't want to see. Peeta's house is dark, no smoke rising from his chimney, the back door shut tight. I turn my gaze quickly back to the fence rising in front of me, feeling my insides begging to let loose, my muscles aching to be set free.

I grab my bow from the tree near the fence, then take off in a fast sprint, staying close enough to the District fence so that I could see it, but whoever might be looking past it wouldn't see me. I run until I see the meadow creeping into my side-vision inside the District's fence. When I clear the familiar ground, I begin to slow my pace into a light jog, my breath becoming quick and shallow.

I stop at the rock where Gale and I used to meet, dropping to my knees, letting out a cough as I try to regain my breath. Running like that reminds me of my times in the Games. I sit down on the grass, and let my head lull back onto the rock. The sun beats down onto my face, but I don't mind it. It feels like old times. I smile gently as I hear heavy foot-steps, sighing in relief. "You never were good at keeping quiet." I open my eyes to see a tall figure standing above me. The sun being in my eyes, I can't see his form completely.

"Whatever, Catnip. I've always been a lot quieter when I wanted to be. I just didn't want an arrow pointed at my heart, today."

I feel the smile drop from my lips. "Oh, hi, Gale."

He plops down next to me, shooting me an amused glance, "Expecting someone else?"

I sigh as I stretch my legs out in front of me. "Apparently, no," I mumble, picking at the grass next to my legs.

Gale shoots me a strange look, and then shakes his head, sighing as he looks out across the valley with me. "It was really nice of your mom to throw a welcome-back party for you guys. I missed you while you were away."

I glance at Gale, his prying eyes searching my face for an answer. I let out a sound that sounds similar to "mhmm" and then continue to look out across the valley.

"Okay, here we go; what's wrong, Katniss?" Gale asks, nudging me in the ribs with his elbow.

I send him a scowl, making him crack a grin. I sigh, pulling my knees close to my body, "I feel like I'm missing something, Gale. My mom said tonight that Cinna and Finnick were coming over. This morning my sister woke me up and my dad was in the kitchen. Both times I forgot what I was thinking mid-thought. I feel like I'm missing something!"

Gale gives me a worried look, "Katniss, what are you talking about?"

I angrily slam my hands into the ground next to my knees. "Why does everyone think I'm crazy?! Why does everyone keep mentioning the Victory Tour, and this kid named Zarek? And where in hell is Peeta?!" I swivel my head to look at a still very scared looking Gale.

"Katniss, what are you talking about, really? You just came back from mentoring your first Victory Tour with Zarek, the Victor of the Third Quarter Quell who had to survive an arena that changed every night, with Haymitch and Effie. Effie left to go back to the Capitol yesterday, and Finnick and Annie came to visit you because apparently when you mentored the Quell, you spent a lot of time with Finnick and became good friends. Don't you remember, Kat?"

I stare blankly at Gale, not following what exactly was happening. Only one thing was truly concerning me. "Where's Peeta?"

Gale's eyebrows dip down even more, confusion seeping from every inch of his body. "Peeta? There's no one in Twelve named Peeta, Katniss. Hell, I don't think there's anyone in Panem named Peeta. Katniss, are you all right? You're as white as a ghost."

I stare disbelievingly at Gale. _No._ I think, _He has to be here, somewhere._ I get up from my spot next to Gale and begin to run. I hear Gale calling my name somewhere behind me, but I don't let it affect me. _I need to find Peeta. _I sprint to the fence, crawling under it, then running again. My legs don't even falter as they carry me, they just go. I run until I reach the District Square. My breath leaves me as I see the bakery. It is a peach color, unlike the soft blue Peeta had it painted. I am in a state of confusion until I read the sign above the door.

In fancy letters, it says _Bracken Family Bakery. _

My blood feels like ice as my heart pumps it quickly throughout my body. _No, NO!_ I scream before I can even stop myself. "PEETA! PEETA!" I look frantically around the area, ignoring the crazy looks I was receiving from all the people passing by. My feet begin to carry me, quickly, away from the horrid sign. I continue to scream Peeta's name as I run through the District.

When my mind finally catches up with the rest of my body, I am standing in the middle of Peeta's empty house. When I say empty, I mean _completely_. There was nothing inside of the house, other than the items that couldn't exactly move. I scream Peeta's name even louder, hoping that if maybe I do, he will hear me. But he doesn't come. No one comes.

I drop to my knees, still screaming as the tears run mercilessly down my face. _My Peeta,_ I think to myself as my lips release his sweet name again. _Gone._

**Peeta P.O.V.**

I run as fast as my out-of-shape legs can carry me. I hear her screaming, and it is enough to wake me from the daze I had slipped in and to have me on my feet before I could even process all that had happened earlier that night. It doesn't matter that I am hurt and confused, it doesn't even matter that I had hurt her. She _needs_ me, and I need to be there for her.

I bust through the front door, worrying once I realize she had left it unlocked. _It means she had hoped I would come back..._ I smile to myself, but it quickly disappears when I hear my name being screamed. I run as fast as I can up the stairs, taking them two at a time, as my heart rate picks up again. _She could be hurt. What if she is hurt? I would never forgive myself if she hurt herself because of me._

I force the bad thoughts out of my head as I push open the bedroom door. My eyes frantically search the room, eventually falling on the body lying on the floor. Wrapped in the blanket from the bed, she is tugging at it, as if it is strangling her, but being unable to remove the cloth. Her body is naked, but the cloth is covering her nudeness, even as she struggles against it. Her face is contorted with pain, her lips releasing a loud screech that seems to be my name.

I run for her, dropping onto my knees as I quickly pull her into my arms. She screams at first, trying to weakly push me off, begging me not to hurt her. I try whispering sweet nothings to her, but she doesn't understand that it's _me_. She doesn't understand that whoever it was before when I hurt her is gone. She doesn't know how sorry I am.

"_PEETA!"_

I pull Katniss even closer into my chest, "KATNISS! Stop! I'm right here! I'm right here." I hold her body close to me as she wakes up, her crying turning into bawls and her hands gripping my shirt, trying to pull my body closer to her own. "Peeta! Peeta, you're here. You're a-alive! I thought y-you were g-g-one!" She cries as I hold her wracking body. "I was, but I'm back now. I'm sorry, love. I'm so sorry."

Her lips find my mouth. I pull her body so close, I can feel her beating pulse. She continues to cry quietly as we kiss, still pulling my shirt. "Katniss," I say quietly, "I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm so sorry."

Katniss kisses me again, but, this time, with so much passion and (dare I say it?) _love. _I let her, kissing her back with just as much want. She pulls back and rests her forehead on mine, "It's okay, Peeta. It's okay."

It's at that moment when I realize that there are tears of my own making their way down my face. Her fingers brush the tears away, and I pull her close again."But it's not okay, Katniss. I hurt you. I physically hurt you." My body shakes as I force the words out, my breathing shallow and weak. She tries to get me to stop talking, mumbling that it wasn't my fault, but I need her to hear me. I need her to comprehend. "I promised myself that I wouldn't ever h-hurt you again, and now that I know I did... I-I don't know what to do with myself, Katniss. I-I just..." I can't keep my voice from cracking as I talk to her, brushing my fingers across her face, trying to wipe away her tears as she tries to stop mine.

"Peeta, stop." She pulls her forehead away from my own, putting her hands on either side of my face, trying to get my eyes to meet her own. But I can't do it. How can I look into her eyes and see the pain and hurt, knowing I was the one who caused it? How can she be here with me now, and not hiding in a corner, screaming for me to stop? How can she still be with me? "Peeta, look at me."

I close my eyes tighter as the sobs rack my body. "I'm so-"

"Peeta. Enough." I open my eyes just barely, and I am shocked at what I see.

I see the Katniss I haven't seen in so long; the Katniss that wasn't afraid, the Katniss that had hope. Her eyes are filled with tears of her own, yet there was passion, confidence. "Listen to me, Peeta. Are you listening?" I nod my head weakly. "This is not your fault. What Snow did to you _is not your fault._ The fact that you can't control this feeling you get sometimes,_ is not your fault_."

I nod my head as her eyes search mine. I notice her hair pulled back into a messy braid and her weak arms wrapping the blanket around her nude body, the bags under her eyes, and the tear stains down her cheeks. I close my eyes tightly so I don't have the temptation of looking at her throat.

"But leaving me, Peeta, that _is _all your fault. And I swear," her voice cracks as she touches her forehead to mine, closing her eyes, "if you _ever,_ and I mean _ever,_ leave me again, I-I-I..." She stops talking, and I open my eyes to see her crying again. I gather her in my arms, kissing her head.

"I won't, Katniss, I swear I won't. I'm so sorry, Katniss, I'm so sorry."

She pulls back and looks up at me. "When the going gets tough, Peeta, we can't run away. I know that out of all people, I'm the last person who knows anything about that, but I'm willing to try to learn," Katniss leans in and kisses me tenderly on the lips, "with you."

I bite my lip as I close my eyes, fighting off the feeling I begin to get in the back of my head. _Is she lying?_ "You need me. Real or not real?"

Katniss smiles up at me as the familiar game comes back to her memory. The last time she played this game, I was in the middle of a semi-episode. Now, here we are, almost a year later, and I am in control of my mind. "Real, Peeta. So real. Because I need you Peeta. I need you like the grass needs the rain, like the trees need the sun. I need you more than I've ever needed anyone else in my whole life."

I kiss her, hard. My hands find my way to her hips as I pull her close, eventually wrapping around her back to keep the blanket in place, and her hands then crawl up into my hair, tangling her fingers and pulling my head closer to hers. "I need you to, Katniss. I thrive in life, for you. I get up every damned morning, knowing that it means another day with you. And I'll keep getting up, as long as you're by my side."

Katniss lets her lips brush against mine again as she sighs. "Don't leave me again, Peeta. Ever. Stay with me..."

I smile as I kiss her again. "Always, Katniss. Always."

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><p><em>AN: Whooohoooo! Whos Happy? I'm happy!(:_

_Okay, kiddos. So the Haymitch story-time section? I made that up. Yes, I CREATED IT, not dear . I pulled it out of my- uh, well, lets just say Ascot. It wasn't a part of the Hunger Games. Haymitch didn't love Maysilee. BUT, it is irrelevant to MY story. I went by the books for a long time (no pun intended), but it was about time for a little twist, don't ya think?_

_This chapter is WAY over due. It will be a while before the next part. Hopefully not 2 months, but you never know. I'll take it day by day._

_If anyone has any questions, requests for a one-shot, requests for ANYTHING, or just wanna say "Hey! Your story is great!", don't be afraid to PM me. I love it when my readers give me something to be happy about/look forward too.(:_

_Annnddd remember! **REVIEW!(:**_

_Xxx,_

_-LiveInTheMusic_


	13. Not a Chapter, But Important

A/N: Hello to all of you reading.(: This isn't a chapter. I am sorry if you are disappointed, but I couldn't finish the chapter in time, and I wanted to post something today. TODAY is September 9th, 2012. I posted my 1st Chapter on September 9th, 2011. TODAY IS TEARS FOR THE BROKEN'S BIRTHDAY! YAAYYYYYY!

I really wanted to have a chapter out today, I really did. But unfortunately, I couldn't finish it in time. I hope to have it out really soon, and I probably will, within the next month or so. BUT, I have a special gift for all you readers… I HAVE POSTED A NEW STORY! Sort of. It's a one-shot. And it's really good, if I do say so myself. I am really proud of it. I have been working on it for a few months now, and it's finally done! You guys should really go cheek it out!

So, this is where I get all mushy. You guys can probably skip it. In case you guys didn't know, (I doubt any of you do), one of my best friends read the 1st chapter of this story. I told her I wanted to post it, and she encouraged me to. She's the whole reason I even started this story. She and I were obber obsessed with the books, and I love to write. She was sort of my beta for Chapter 1. At this moment, late on Sunday, September 09, 2012, she and I aren't speaking. I haven't spoken to her in almost 4 months. It didn't bother me at first because I was mad at her. I thought she was the reason we weren't friends anymore. Now that I look back, it was my entire fault. I am the one who stopped speaking to her, and she ignored me in return. I miss her being there to call me stupid when I screw up; someone to fan girl over the Huger Games with; someone I can talk to and know I will get her 100% honest opinion. If your reading this right now, which I doubt you are, just know I'm sorry. I doubt we can go back to the way we were, but I'm tired of ignoring someone who used to be my best friend.

OKAY. That's all over. Thanks guys for waiting. I will have the next chapter out ASAP; and uh, one word. FLUFF- CLEAN fluff, that is. Not the dirty kind. ANYWHO. I LOVE YOU ALL. MWAA.

LiveInTheMusic


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